Dream Log: May 24, 2000

• I was in a locker room, with all kinds of men talking to each other. They were all bigger, taller, stronger, and talking to each other like... just leaving me alone like everybody in a locker room should. A tall redhead woman in a long, pink prom dress barged in the locker room, looking for a man. She was walking around, looking at every guy in the room until she looks at... me. She was very tall, looking me and hugging me in front of everybody. She wanted me. I think she wanted me to take her out to some kind of party because of her dress... I think she was pleading to me to go with her... I can't refuse her offer, so I accepted. (fade to black)
• I was sitting on the floor with the woman again in the locker room again, but the locker room is empty. She just sat there, pondering... She wanted to kiss. She puckered her lips like a little girl, and closed her eyes... I puckered up like her, and pressed my lips to her... I wanted to slip my tongue in between her lips, but not yet... I don't want to take my lips off of hers, but I want to say something... "Can you French Kiss?" Yowza! I can't believe I said it. She nodded, and kissed me with more guts, more daring, and kissed her back... (fade to black)

/me waves hello to RST.

- / +

Jam knocked over his bowl and neatly trapped all the catfood underneath it. He pushed it around the kitchen frantically.

Pamphlet - flossing is $10 per tooth

Kay had a big stone fireplace and blownup photographs of blue sky hanging everwhere

The new offices were in someone's house. We kept the furniture the way it was. The big white bed was in the center of the room and we worked from laptops there.

Sitting on the bed with a woman whose face I couldn't see, but I knew her well. We sorted through a box of cookie cutters. To our right was a guy at a desk whose son wouldn't leave him alone. The boy was upset about his lisp, mostly about the fact that he couldn't pronounce "lisp" correctly. A cruel trick to put an S in that word. I knew I couldn't look at the boy or I would start to cry. When he went away, the man swiveled his chair toward us and said nothing. He stared at the map of Japan on the side of the bed. "Who was in charge of cutting out Japan?" he said quietly. "Probably the same guy assigned to Wyoming."

I knew Pete was online and tried to send him an email but fucked it up. What program is this? I needed security clearance. Pete broke through from his end and sent me a movie clip. It was him, in old-man makeup and stringy gray hair. He was whirling and spitting with rage. "I've had enough of your hamcake!"

When it was time to leave it took me fucking forever to make the bed. The others wouldn't help. Time stretched for me. After a long time, I was done. I couldn't figure out how to work the primitive lock on the front door. The calico kitten wanted in.

Showing Bizz photos taken when I was about 10. The station wagon, the camper, a bus. She laughed at all of them.

A tall woman reappeared shakily and I asked her if she was dead too. She laughed and I realized she was an enemy.

Usually I have much trouble remembering dreams I've had, especially in detail, but this last one seems to stick in my mind, probably because I don't want it to. I was awake for about five or ten minutes before I even remembered it, oddly, and then I kept thinking "aww f$@# this!".

I was sitting in my house somewhere, possibly my room, that detail escapes me, but there I was thinking about the turns my life has taken and how happy I finally am with everything, how it seems to fit together so well. Then my phone rings and I smile because someone took the time to call me, which is good, very good, phone calls are nice. (This is what I'm thinking to myself.) I pick it up, I say "hello". It's him. My mind becomes liken to a swingset and I wonder if possibly I could just hang up and pretend he never called. Of course, I can never seem to hang up on anyone, so I endure this ramble of his about how sad he is, and how much he misses me, thinking I've heard this a million times, and then he tells me he's bought a plane ticket and is going to come see me in a week and make it "all better". I remember scrambling for words, trying to think of something to dissuade him but I said nothing. Instead, I laughed so hard when I hung up the phone and told my best friend about it. She laughed as well, he was kidding, right?

Ahh... fade into dream I had about a week ago, where upon he was just there, trying to "get me back" and I just kept resisting and wishing he'd go away. I had no idea how he'd just shown up at my house, but there he was.. and now I think that possibly I just had two dreams that were closely linked, but in the wrong order.

Either way, you'd think he'd have the decency to stay out of my dreams, you know? That's my sacred dreamland escape, my place, damn it.

I had a dream this morning. I haven't had a dream in almost a decade, so today's dream left me shaken.

I remember waking up at thinking about how school starts late today. That corresponded directly with the real world.

I don't remember how, but I ended up going somewhere with Kristen. It resembled a mix of Sarah and Jenn's houses. Except it was all blue.

We hung out around the pool (with Kristen, Jenn and Sarah) ... the dream was entirely asexual.

We were all speaking Spanish, none of the dialogue is distinct. I don't even know Spanish.

I realized that I had to go to school... so I jumped up and across the pool, I think I might have skipped myself across.
I remember feeling very fulfilled when I jumped across, like chomping on a thick sandwich.

Next thing I knew, I had arrived at school on foot. I was on the football field.
I was suddenly tuning into CNN with my mind.
The United States was being forced to bomb itself!
It made perfect sense while I was asleep... hush.
Sure enough, SCUD-like missles were being sent to my school! Scary.
Either they were going really slow or I was going really fast
Sure enough, the missles were nearly harmless. One hit the open door of a car near me.
I remember feeling like a bad-ass because I was almost blown up.

What does it mean? I really can't tell. I have no ill feelings towards Spanish River High School.
Why did I have this dream? Why haven't I had any dreams since I was in kindergarten?


Who cares?