Dream Log: November 15, 2000

It finally happened. I settled myself down for a long winter's nap and what to my wondering subconscious should appear but the shivering and saintly image of:

canigetadrumrollplease?
jessicapierce's navel
thankyouverymuch

I'm not exactly sure why it chose tonight of all nights to show up. It's had many days since the picture was on her homenode and plenty of more reasonable opportunities: erotic dreams, belly dancing sequences, mental pillow fights. But tonight, as I drift into the sinewy sea of slumber on my couch while trying to fend off the wooziness of a strange and sudden sickness, the navel appears, hovering, the star of a surreal diorama, each tiny hair waving in a cosmic breeze, each tiny hair conducting its own symphony.

And as I'm staring at this nebulous navel, I realize that I am just a consciousness looking for a body, and that the better half of existence is in dreaming.

The phone wakes me up. I still want to believe the foggy promises I've made to myself.

I'm walking through a department store and I realize I have to go to the bathroom. I head over to the corner of the store, and there are four celebrities there, walking away. Two I don't recognize, and the other two are John Madden (but skinny) and Trudie Styler(wife of Sting). Trudie gives me a very knowing look as I pass by - there is a leather recliner with four bondage collars sitting on it - four different colors, one for each celebrity. I pass by it to go to the bathroom.

The bathroom is stark white, and I go into the stall. I look at the door to the stall and it is only about two feet tall, mounted so that people can look in and see everything but the actual act of peeing. I look out and realize that I am in the Lesbian Exhibition Stall, sort of an art project. There are two Asian lesbians pointing and waving at me while I pee. I shift my knees around and pose for them, and wave back.

I was dreaming about Perpetual Dream Theory. They have a new song they haven't named yet.

I fell asleep and I dreamed they named it Bouhhan, which they explained (they were at chazz's, but everyone knew it was really blunt brothers, because their closet was in the back. (???)) meant 'the fire of life' in sanskrit.

(but it's not really a sanskrit word. I think it's actually the high german word that later became the english 'beacon', a signal fire. my sleeping mind thought sanskrit sounded cooler, I guess.)

eryn was wearing a red shirt with slightly curved triangles that looked like columns of ascii characters 16 and 17, the half-block arrows. it glowed a little, like it was lit from within you somewhere. I remember thinking it was really cool and subversive of her to have bypassed the purple onion's (hee, I was just venue-hopping all over the place) lighting board somehow to light the room entirely with her own radiance. gordon had to wear sunglasses, and shawn had to wear these freaky fun-house glasses, which conferred some obscure sort of protection to him.

I dreamed about the rapture last night. The end of the world had come, and God (and I must have been in the same universe Patsy and Edina inhabit, since She looked just like Marianne Faithfull) and I were having a pleasant conversation in an old log cabin. In the meantime, all of reality is vanishing outside, surrounding us is blinding white light that forced itself through the spaces between the logs.

God told me to wait until the last minute before accepting/surrendering/resisting the light. I recall feeling calm yet also bordering on panic watching as the timber cabin slowly ... dematerialized before my eyes.

Finally, God held my hands and said "This is it!" and a tremendous rushing noise filled my ears, like the universe's largest wave crashing on the universe's largest shore.

...and the light took me into itself.

I became light. I can't describe the sensation, so overpowering was it, and I've never ever felt anything so strongly in a dream. I was ... disassembled, and become conscious ... quanta.

It was liberating. For a brief moment, I saw infinity, and was boggled by how ... mundane it was. I saw an infinity of universes, but there were an infinite number of universes in which everything happened just as it did in another infinite number of universes. The amount of sameness in infinity was just as stunning as the vast differences.

However, I couldn't shake the exhilaration of being light or quantum foam or whatever. After briefly touring infinity, I turned to God, wanting to ask why there was so much repetition and replication.

God was no longer next to me, but was instead part of me, and I of God ... God was the light, and answered my unvoiced question in a rough, wry British accent:

"Being a scientist can be pretty boring, even at this scale. But I'm learning so much."

Then I wake up and my first waking thought, unbidden, was "Jesus, I am a fucking freak!" I've felt a little off-kilter all day as a result.

I am driving through the streets of an industrial zone (what we in Spain call a "polígono industrial"). I am looking for the offices of a company, I have a meeting or something. I park the car. I enter one of the buildings. It’s like a big hangar, without walls, the companies that inhabit the building are laid in rows. I ask a man, he seems to laugh at me, mumbling that the guys I’m looking for are at the end of the big housing.

But wait, there’s a heavy slope, downward the end of the building. I can barely walk without… whoops!… I slip till the end, surely missing the table where the guys I have to meet are.

Now I have to go up! but the floor is slippery like the parquet of a basketball court , I am going up little by little, advancing with little steps. But the slope is very steep and I keep falling.

Finally, I take my shoes out and use my high grip wool socks to climb the slope.

Miau! (my cats don't speak English...)
It’s real life again, time to wake up and feed the cats.
I know this dream has a meaning, because although I can't remember what I was doing there, it was related to my businesses, so I suppose I fell and now I am going my way back firmly stepping with… wool socks?

I had a very disturbing dream last night. I dreamt I was in some kind of tunnel, desperatly running away from someone/something that I couldn't see. Now matter how fast I ran, I couldn't get any further away from whatever was chasing me. As if this wouldn't have been bad enough, that someone then started shooting at me. After this had been going on for a while, I got hit. The last thing that I remember from the dream, was that I got hit, and was falling towards the ground, in horrible pain.

Now I don't very often remember what I have dreamt of, and nightmares are even more rare with me. Must have been the really violent movie I watched (can't remember the name, some cheesy TV action-flick) before I went to bed that set it off. Or then im just going nuts, which seems more likely ;-)

I was trying to sleep, (trying to sleep in my dream?) but there was music in the other room. It was a Throwing Muses song I have never heard in real life. I woke up with one line stuck in my head:

"How many times do I have to tell you to get bent before you grow growth."