Dream Log: November 29, 2002

I don't regularly have lucid or disturbing dreams (and therefore do not log much in the Dream Log) so last night's main dream was particularly intense (being both disturbing and lucid).

Some notes on the context of the dream:

• I've just come off two days of physical exertion, erratic sleep and too much alcohol. The night before I had had a series of fragmented hangover-in-the-making dreams.
• The last few days have been emotionally taxing and culminated in a messy dinner with friends (about to be ex-friends?) who I've been drifting away from recently.
• At this dinner the conversation veered (as usual) between sexual perversions, detailed discussions of recreational drugs (especially in the context of an up-coming party at this Wednesday's eclipse) and the influence of recreational drugs on sexual perversions. You get the idea.
• The conversation also briefly touched on recent discoveries that seem to have located areas in the brain which, when electrically stimulated, result in the subject having a religious experience.

The dream:
I'm in a large room with a group of friends (the dinner crew). There are conversations going all around but I'm not really a part of any of them. The dream is controlled (no time distortions) and I can move and speak freely. I seek out one person (let's call him S) who I've been wanting to talk to. The conversation revolves around the recent discovery that the seeds of a particular type of melon have psychedelic properties. I happen to have some of these seeds and proceed to hand them out and end up chewing on about ten of them.

Almost immediately the room grows (in volume) to look very much like the interior of a minimalist cathedral. And I can fly (this happens quite regularly). I call over to S: 'hey, have you noticed that I can fly?'. He hears me but says: 'Where are you, I can't see you.' It turns out that whenever I leave the ground I become invisible as well. I float over to S and hover just in front of him. 'Reach out, you'll be able to touch me' I say. S reaches out and finds the contour of my face, he bursts out laughing: 'Fuck maaaan, that's incredible.' He hugs me and as soon as he does I become visible again.

Clearly the melon seeds are not your average drug. There is much excitement around the room at my new-found abilities. I hover again (disapearing again) but as I do the room starts shaking terribly and blinding beams of light fill the room (as if a massive glowing being/animal of some kind has gripped it).

A cool, male voice speaks: 'You are being called to trial. The result will be your death.' The voice does not belong to the being shaking the room, he sounds like a courtroom clerk. He continues: 'The Universe will not allow its inhabitants to lightly discover the secrets to their lives.' As he says this glowing cards with all the questions we ask ourselves in the course of our lives (Why am I here? Where did this come from? What happens after this? etc.) appear and are sucked down a long dark tunnel away from me. By this time everyone else has gathered on one side of the room leaving me directly in front of the tunnel and I am being pulled into it.
At this point my sleeping body jerked me away and I woke.

The aftermath:
I lay in bed for about 5 minutes after waking, my one arm was numb even though I had not been lying on it. I could objectively say that I was in shock. A very real fear of being brought to book filled me. I reached over for my girlfriend and was eventually able to go back to sleep.

Some thoughts on the dream:

• Quite frankly this dream will not change my life. I can logically explain to myself how the events of the preceeding two days could lead up to my brain constructing the series of events in the dream and therefore I do not feel like I have been 'communicated' with in any real way.
• What did strike me about the dream was how the fear from the dream translated into my wakeful state. It was very real and remained so until I fell asleep again.
• The one thing that I've taken away from it is an awareness that, on a low, biological level, I might not be as comfortable with my current lifestyle as I thought I was.
• In the end I'm not ready to take it too seriously, but as an indication of how powerful and unpredictable the workings of my brain can be I cannot ignore it.

School. I'm worried about when homeroom will be next week - between classes is what I've been told. I go to math class, taught by my precalc teacher with the class of my 7th grade prealgebra class. I have too much in my hands, so I give some of the books to my English teacher from last year (freak!) so I can sit down. Jacob Goodman asks the math teacher about the homeroom thing, he says it's going to be June 1 from 5-7, so after all classes.

It's about this time that I start getting bored, so I look back to the English teacher in the back of the room, and he's CUT A HOLE THROUGH MY BOOK. The book, by the way, was my copy of Eyes of Silver by Mike Stackpole, in mint condition except for three faint creases in the spine (a huge freaking hole cut all the way through it). I freak out and cry, he leaves the room in a door near me (we're on the second floor, there's no space there for a door) to smoke.

The math teacher asks me what's wrong so I say that he cut hole in my book, and that he probably didn't like the author (it wasn't Mike Stackpole, which got me all confused). anyway, after a bit more of everyone ignoring me while I don't pay attention and cry over the book, this girl comes in asking for help on burning CDs, so I help her, and then class is over.

I go to this weird parking-lot thing with huuuge stone merry-go-rounds.

And there was something bout cloning, but the only thing that I can envisioned was that some movie for an anime was cancelled, so they cut the 22nd episode because it had clone of one of the chracters in it. I talk to my parents about the book after I get off the stone merry-go-round, and dad gets ll pissed-like (or so I think) and leads us back into the school (the door for the second floor is at ground level).

Over the speaker system in the hallway (you that go there know what I'm saying) they're playing the final Sigma battle (Repliroid King) from X1, and I say "they're playing Sephiroth's theme!" (which is wrong) and almost everyone I can see to my left stops, listens, and agrees. I walk over there because I don't remember another hallway there and I see my dead uncle and some other people waiting in line, so I walk the other way, comment to someone that the "whole hallway stopped", and try to get a drink from a water fountain that only sprays sand at me.