Dream Log: October 4, 2002

I was Tom Green, and in the beginning I was speeding at some public road, soon getting the cops after me. I managed to lose them by driving through a swamp, which unfortunately stopped my car at the opposite side of it, next to a farm. I got my lead-weighted shoes from the rear seat, and put them on while a farmer from the house stared at me, wondering what I was doing. As I got the heavy shoes on my feet, I did a little stepping before heading into the house past the farmer, who still didnt know what I was doing.

I dont remember the middle of the dream, but I got to know the farmers daughter named Luanne, and got residents of the house annoyed about me. At one point I had eaten some medication as candy, and when Luanne was taking a shower, I stole her underwear and put it on before walking back into the other rooms of the house like nothing had happened.

Soon I met the sister of Luanne, who immediately asked what I was doing in her sister's underwear. I simply said "I'm leaving", which immediately cheered her up, and havinng a change at getting me out from the house she forgot about the underwear, pushed my shoes into my arms and told "Now be a nice boy. Don't come back, please!"

I'd met some new friends and we were all sitting together in a cafe somewhere in America. They were very eccentric people and that was why we all liked each other. We drank lots of coffee and talked loudly about crazy stuff and generally made a nuisance of ourselves around the shopping centre. When we left the cafe the craziest guy started doing a dance in fron of an elderly couple who were returning to their car - there was cheesy music coming from somewhere, and he posed like a ballerina, and then started vogueing. We were all laughing and taking pictures. Eventually the security guards came to chase us away, but not before we'd gotten into a music shop and started playing on the electric pianos which were arranged around the walls. They had a beautiful shiny wooden veneer that I loved touching.

When we developed the pictures later we found that they were all pictures of toys instead of real people. Instead of me and a girl and a guy sitting talking, there were Lego people with bright yellow faces standing on a stippled grey landscape with big smiles. The scene in the parking lot with the dancing guy was all cuddly plush toys - a squashy cat and a floppy brown dog and a crocodile with big friendly eyes. All the cars were matchbox cars. We were puzzled but we loved the pictures anyway.

On the way home I saw a large climbing frame made of wooden logs and rope ladders, and I started to climb one side of it. It got taller and taller as I climbed, and I started to feel vertigo as I looked up and down. The ground was getting pretty far away, and even though it felt very solid I was afraid that if I climbed to the top I would fall off or it would collapse. No sooner had I thought this than the logs started to shake and the ladder I was on started to peel away from the side slowly. I was a little scared, but I realized that the ladder was falling slowly enough to prevent me being hurt. It tipped backwards and when it got near the ground I rolled over and jumped to my feet again. My friends and some other people had gathered around and were worried about me, but I told them that I was fine. We looked up to see what had happened to the other children, and it was only my ladder that had collapsed.

She was sitting there yesterday. Not far from where you're at now.

I saw her there, and I could feel my eyes change color instantly. There's been alot of research done on changing eye color. Some doctors say it has to do with barometric pressure, some say blood pressure, some say that it's merely luck. But I know, for me, my eyes turn yellow when I fall in love.

I felt them do it, instantly.

Along with the fact that my heart sped up, and my breath shortened. Goosebumps on my arm, my mouth dried up just a little bit. All of this, just when I saw her there.

Sitting? Standing? I don't remember - it's horrible, I know. I couldn't even tell you who was with me, who was with her. For an instant, for an eternity, there were only two people in the universe. There was me. And then, then there was Her.

I saw her there, and she saw me. I said Hi. That was it, nothing creative, nothing particularily charming. A monosyllabic introduction.

Somehow we ended up talking about philosophy, and religion, and art, and love, and hate, and pain, and the feeling you have for the first thirty seconds after you've woken up from a perfect night of sleep. That languor drifting through your fingers as you clutch the sheets, or the person you've woken up with.

She understood what I said when I told her I was afraid of humanity. She comprehended my loathing of idiocy, especially when found in today's mob society.

I saw her there, and she was beautiful. She had black hair. But it was red, and blonde, and brown too. It was long. I remember that.

Her neck was beautiful, not too thin, but thin enough that I could see the tendons in it when she yawned, just the once.

She had paint under her fingernails, blue, yellow, green, purple. She told me she was making something beautiful; and I believed her.

I saw her there, and I didn't feel so afraid any more. I didn't feel so disconnected. For an instant, we were the only two people in the universe, and I wouldn't have had it any other way.

I saw her there, not far from where you are right now. And then, with a cough, I woke up.

The sheets were clutched between my fingers.

I was living in a house with a group of other people. We were living out some twisted version of Survivor or Big Brother, where the last living person won. I ended up becoming the house sweetheart who everybody loved. There was a strange, thin, pale man there who I later learned was a vampire. I knew he was Alan, despite the fact that he looked nothing like him.

One evening we heard screams throughout the house, and a group of us went on a search to find out what was going on. We found a man who was cut in half, and his top half was stapled to the wall, screaming about the woman who had done this to him. The group moved on, but I stayed behind, staring in sick fascination. I ended up running into the murderess, who promised me that she wouldn't kill me.. at least not straight away.

There was one man who lived in the house who didn't like me. He was always in a bad mood, and didn't value human life at all. At one point in the dream, he kidnapped some small children and ground them into little pieces. At the end of the dream, me and Alan and this man were the only ones left. The horrible man chased after Alan with a gun, and I ran after them. Alan told me to stay away, but the horrible man shot me in the head and I fell over. Alan stared at me, shocked and horrified.

I became a spirit and picked up my body, saying to Alan, "What did you think of her? Her arms are so long and thin."

He said, "She was very pale."

I wake up, you lying next to me in my arms. I am overcome with fear, at the same time, calm and content. Your beautiful face is next to mine. Looking at your sleeping figure, I know that I have never met you before, but my heart tells me I love you, and have felt that way for a long time. Carefully, so as not to disturb your slumber, I climb out of the warm bed into the cool morning air. The room is one I have not seen with my eyes, my mind tells me otherwise. I know that we moved into this apartment short months ago. Away from the home I knew, to the home I have never seen, but know intimately.

You roll over, searching for the warmth that has left your side. Sensing my absence you begin to stir, asking me softly to come back to bed. Hesitantly, I move back towards the bed, towards you. After settling under the covers, back to you, you slide up to me and throw an arm around my chest, hugging me that much closer. Your breath is warm on my neck, which is tense with fear and confusion. you know something is wrong, I can tell, but before you can ask, I tell you that I just could not sleep. You seem satisfied with that and I relax a little, rolling onto my side. You kiss me on cheek and whisper an "I love you" into my ear.

You drift off to sleep again, but I lie there trying to understand what is happening. I know everything about our life together; the day we met, where we went on our first date, your favourite foods and pet peeves. I know your likes and dislikes in bed, your tendancy to hum while in the shower. The thing I still do not know is your name. The alarm turns on beside us, and you roll over to shut it off. I pretend to have slept through the racket as you prepare to leave for work. Everything after that point is a blur. Daily life progresses at a maniacal pace.

When the world moves again at what can only be called a normal pace, we are again in our bedroom, you just crawling in, myself getting undressed. Instantly I freeze, not understanding what has happened. You see me standing there in a daze, and come over to comfort me. A long kiss brings back coherence in my mind. You ask me what is wrong. I simply shake my head, you know I do not know. You take my hand and lead me to bed, but before I climb in, I wake up.

I still have no idea who you are, or where we live, but that does not seem to matter. It was all a dream. I woke up to your love in a dream, and now I am awake and I have nothing here but work and the flipping of hamburgers...