Editor Log: October 2, 2000

October 2, 2000
Everything Editor Logs
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O dem bones, Everything 2 narrowly escaped destruction at your skeletal hands yesterday. But in your mercy you deactivated the Disassembler, got some sleep instead, and soon the Chatterbox was no longer filled with the fearful cries of noders. The Rapture was averted. Do drop by more often.

Now, as this new day dawns in the always now of the nodegel, the gel's many currents and tides are flowing freely. There is copious freegel to be formed into shapely nodes to suit your purpose. The many eyes and hands of the noders are fashioning new nodes, reading and voting older nodes, and are happy and safe.

All is well.

With these gone, it is even better:

• Damn it's good to be every woman's fantasy by Wigs. Suggested by whizkid.
• Our Holy Father by renster. Suggested by whizkid.
• drama by cananian. Nov. 13, 1999 "see also" node.
• International Baccalaureate wu by azz. Nov. 13, 1999 irrelevant entry.

I've fixed a number of Broken Nodes, did some title edits, released nodeshells into freegel.

The Crypt accepts:

• By Eco, offered up as sacrifices towards the perfection of his node-fu:
  • extremophiles
  • coercion
  • contract
  • consent
  • cursory
  • coastal
  • look
  • patient
  • region]
  • rope
  • wake
• rope by rueba and Render. Nov. 13, 1999. "Rope. You pull stuff wiht it."
• Everything Drug Dealers Registry by Protector of Mankind, by request.
• randofu by Randofu, by request.
• randofu by herbapet. At -6.
• What is your most obscure album? by Electricsound, by request.

You know, when Lord Brawl talks, I listen. You know why? Because he's a better person than I am. And if he says that the porn star name thing has gone on long enough, then I say it dies. Adios, and my apologies to those several thousand good noders who made the mistake of getting involved.

And, while I was in the spirit of all that hot reverie, I also took out the most beautiful song ever and one word title for your life.

Am I a bad person?

Nodes / Writeups removed today:

• why are you reading this node? by herbapet.
  -I'd lay off the "herb" for a while, friend.
• node? by same user. This time w/ penalty.
• gore-tex tampons, arnt and we arnt amused by same user. Sheesh.
• $3 for a beer by g_primitive.
  -Price of beer somewhere. Not exactly noding for the ages, eh?
• How about the Specials, you stupid yank fucks? by fondue. Blank. Removed with penalty.
  -User should know better; been here long enough.
• testnode by a couple of ancient users.
  -Kaatunut, that stuff you're doing is really messing up the system. I can't delete some of it, so nate will have to handle it. You'll be getting a bill.
• 1-800-23FUDGE by mojo_jojo.
  -There's a lot of things you do not want to happen in your life. But, a personal visit from moJoe has got to be in the Top Three. Be careful out there.
• I removed the newest nuke request from modnar. Without doing anything about the requests at all.
  -Why did I do that? How could I be so insensitive? Here is my question.
  -How can a user with just over 50 writeups know so damn much about what belongs here and what does not? Is this just creepy or is it just me?
• An empty node by kung concerning what folks believe.
  -I know the softlinks were to make a point, but please don't do that, OK?

There's a big beautiful world out there, full of puppies and kittens and little wiggly gray things that say "eep!" when you step on 'em. I think they're called "squirrels". The weather is fine and I'm aging no faster than I was last week. Why must people node crap?

• Cro-Magnon by Spydir Web: New user, useless writeup. /msg'd him, got a lucid response, people are helping him in the chatterbox, etc. He'll be fine.

• Hitch Hiker's Guide to the Galaxy by thopkins: "Bertron, how can you call this a trilogy if there are 5 books? ;)" E2 is not IRC. /msg'd user. Here's a good general rule: If it has anything to do with Douglas Adams, it's been noded already in eight different places by eight noders who couldn't spell. Very few Douglas Adams jokes were even mildly amusing to begin with, and those were all beaten to death years ago.

• Casey Kassem by swirlsbeforepine: "Misspelling of Casey Kasem." The user created the node. I'm sorry, but that's really not the most sensible thing I've seen today. If you see a misspelled nodeshell -- or if you accidentally create one -- do a nuke request on it. Don't fill it, and especially don't fill it with a "misspelling of foo" writeup. I /msg'd the user.

• suger by Buster (long time gone): There's no 'e' in it. The user managed to misspell "caffeine" in the writeup. Die. The noble pingouin has eliminated the last remaining traces of this abomination.

• Blueberry Pies by Buster: Episode Two in Buster's abortive attempt to be a real boy: The only correct information here was that they are pies which contain blueberries. That much is implied by the title. Besides, it's a plural.

• spiders by Buster: Hm, well, sure. Spiders are horrible. Care to tell us more?

• Why are you reading this node? by herbapet: "Why are you reading this node?" Look, I'm sorry, but this is just noise. /msg'd the user, explaining the kill and thanking him for improving his capitalization practices. (Hmm, looks like dannye may have gotten to it first . . .)

• Pro-lifer by wharfinger: A few ill-chosen words about alleged political bias in voting on E2. I was right, but there was no way to express it without sounding like an asshole. When did that ever stop me? Good quesiton. It sure didn't stop me that time.

• Wasssssup by Robert25: Most of it is incoherent; he may have been drunk. Near the end he says "I dunno why i wrote this . . . gonna go puke now . . .". Yeah? Good plan. Have fun. I asked the other users in the node to request nukes. There is a "wassup" node. If you really think you've got something interesting to say about this, go say it there. One node is sufficient.

Nodeshells Bound for Oblivion:

Killed: Jet-Poop's writeup in demonic. It read: "Of or related to McDonald's food, programming on CBS, tomato aspic, or Jerry Falwell." That's fookin' awful, and hell yeah, it was without mercy. Thanks to Tem42 for pointing that one out.

Killed: writeups by ometeotl, FishHead, and Jet-Poop in volcanoe. The first read: "The singular of volcanoes", the second read: "Actually, volcano", and the third read: "How Dan Quayle spells 'volcano'." I had mercy on the last 'cause it was soooo funny.

Killed: a writeup by Jet-Poop in -- in a node whose name I am not allowed to say lest the Conspiracy hunt me down and lobotomize me (Too late!). It wasn't a bad writeup, so I used mercy--I've nuked so many of my own writeups with penalty that I've dropped all the way down to Level Seven! No, really!

Zapped Nodeshells: created through the everyone account by We-Really-Don't-Know-Who-For-Sure-But-We-Have-Our-Suspicions: DMan: Lynched as a scapegoat (yes, and fluffy pink gophers shine my shoes at night!). Also zapped Pseudo_Intellectual has nothing original to say, which was created back in the day when DMan made nodeshells under his own name.

More nodeshells kilt daid by me (sorry for all this irritating boldface type): by the mysterious everyone: Now that DMan is gone, Everything's problems will magically disappear, As DMan walks out of Everything, the sun shines upon Everything once again, DMan was nuked for the great communal cause, DMan and sensei: the sordid tale of betrayal, Now that DMan is gone, Everything will become the perfect liberal paradise, DMan is a tool, period., Saige is a tool, period., and pingouin is a tool, period. ... by yerricde: Team Jet-Shit, Jack Knowles, Edward K. French, and Todd Gallegos ... by locoluis: dem bones is a moron.

Happy trails:

• Uberfestus by Uberfetus: Once again, E2's most inarticulate and offensive noder wastes precious 1's and 0's with meaningless refuse - this time, in the form of a misspelling of his own name. He tried to explain to me that the ancient node referred to an error (long-since fixed) in another user's writeup, but as far as I am concerned, his words were just ambient noise falling upon deaf ears as I flipped the killswitch.
• Matthew and My Matthew by the long-gone TeddyBear1: Adolescent giggling about a cute boy. If she loved him so much, one would think she would be able to write some real content about him.
• BearQcP by BearQcP: TeddyBear1 giggling about Matthew under a different name.
• Soundgarden by ma773r: Linkless sentence fragment simply declared that Badmotorfinger was their best album. If you're going to be that subjective and minimalist, at least be right.

And let me caution against blaming every offensive everyone nodeshell on DMan. Doing so really does turn him into a scapegoat. And he figures that as long as he's being blamed for stuff he didn't do, he might as well actually cause trouble. How about just nuking them without speculating about their creation?

Killed Damn it's good to be every woman's fantasy by terse. A puerile virtual masturbation, and a lame attempt at humor, with the rep of -5, to which he says: "Voting me down will gain you nothing, you jealous losers." The noder doeth protest too much, me thinks.

Placed feline hedonism on Page of Cool for its subtlety and wit. Very nice work, Deborah909!

elephant graveyard: "The spot elephants go to when they grow tired of living. Jane once led a pack greedy explorers there. During this trip she met up with Tarzan." See also where this writeup has gone to die. Bye-bye.