October 5, 2000
Everything Editor Logs
history | prophecy

Whoa dem bones, I am very timezoned. It is 0 hour in server time, still October 4th here, who knows what time at home. O dem bones, this is a dialup connection. 56k but still very very slow. The nodegel seems to moving at a fraction of its usual speed. Everything seems coherent and self-consistent but choppy, like moving a hand and having an effect of the image tracking. I can see why some users feel that the GTKY nodes so dear to others are a problem in terms of loading.

I have not had much opportunity to do very much that was godly. I edited a title, released a few nodeshells into freegel, looked around.

However, there were many msgs pinned to the flat brow of my Chatterbox nodelet. I'll answer a few of them here.

Q. If E2 is really a strange realm composed of nodegel in which nodes, noders, editors and so on all exist without there being any outside world, why does it seem to be just a novelty website?
A. Of course, you're right. There is no nodegel!

Q. Why do some of the editors take on what seems to be a "gloating" and derisive tone in their logs?
A. Hm. Well, perhaps to compensate for the sheer mindless tedium of editing.

Q. Do you people get off on nuking nodes?
A. Whether nodes are deleted (or "nuked" by a god, without XP loss) or "killed" by an editor (with a -5 XP loss), there really is not much about that is fun. It might sound as if godusergroup and editorusergroup entities have a 3D accelerated version of E2 with little figures that run around with cannons mounted on their shoulders and blow up writeups and nodes for some kind of secret XP rating system.

Sadly, all we have are: Buttons. Lots of buttons.
So many that I have to use the "jukka dim theme" to see them all properly. That means I'm sitting here looking at a kind of washed out khaki coloured window.
For the most part, I simply fulfill deletion requests. Occasionally, I encounter a writeup that has been accidentally submitted twice and remove one. Now and then I find a number of old nodes by fled users that are linkless, pointless, and meaningless and so I delete them. This is like scraping dried chewing gum from under wooden seats. It's not much fun but keeps the place clean.
I suppose that there's a certain satisfaction to this. Well, of course there is actually. I and all of the other fine people that share these tasks with me do what we do because we care for E2.

Q. Why is there still no Autumnal Bones photograph? Really, my Summertime Bones poster is all torn and flyspecked.
A. Hm. As I've said, perhaps bones will direct Ryan to pose for a current portrait. But I can't really see the point. After all, he's now in the land of more or less endless summer. Even Wintertime Bones would probably be wearing shorts as well. So here's my suggestion: Just copy and paste the photograph, label it Autumnal Bones, print it off and hang it up. It will amount to the same thing.

Q. What is nodegel?
A. There is no nodegel!

Q. Do you guys ever co-ordinate what you're doing at all?
A. We are trying to find ways to communicate better and more frequently. I had lobbied nate and dem bones for a /tell all msging system. A few weeks later, there it was. And bones has created a superdoc where gods can post a msg about nodes they are thinking of deleting but are unsure about so that they can receive advice from others.

Q. Does one hand know what the other hand is doing?
A. Yes. The right hand is typing with the index finger. The left hand's thumb works the shift key.

Q. How can I get this stain out?
A. Try rubbing it with some baking soda and soda water with a toothbrush.

So that's it for most of the msgs.

I'm glad to have cleared up that nonsense about nodegel. It was just a joke. E2 really is just a novelty website and we are really just people trying our best.

hramyaegr, I see you're sprouting editorial cilia. So sorry. Or is that just a nodeshell stuck in one of my dorsal eyestalks?


Writeups killed:

  • bordem by ryan clappert: The title is misspelled. The writeup was incoherent, poorly spelled, unformatted, and useless. There were no apostrophes in the contractions, no hardlinks, and no capital letters. I /msg'd the user with some helpful links. It was the user's first writeup. When a user has only one writeup, XP isn't lost when it's killed. Merciful are the ways of E2. Ack, that's not true: The XP doesn't adjust until they do a second writeup, is all. Or it adjusts but doesn't display. Or something. Ack.

  • bordem by Infinity: "No insult but you could try learning how to use the BR HTML tag to cure your boredom...." Ha ha. This is not a helpful way to greet a new user, and it's hardly "noding for the ages", either. E2 is not IRC. I notified the user.

  • net positive by kang (long gone): The node title is misspelled, and the writeup doesn't have much to offer beyond bile directed at competing products: "Bloatzilla . . . internet exploder" etc. The properly spelled node (NetPositive) has two writeups in it, both of which are more informative; we don't need this. None of the three writeups mentions the worst limitation of NetPositive, which is that POST truncates fields longer than 512 characters (as of R4.5, at least). I hate to kill a pro-BeOS writeup but it just didn't deserve to live.

  • ass chip by stephendl: Empty. The user signed up the other night and stayed for twenty-four minutes. This was his only writeup. I suppose he may be back, but I doubt it.

  • John Vranesevich by kang: "responsible for the death of packet storm. a dickhead". Obsoleted by an even more bilious but vastly more lucid and informative writeup by donfreenut. Looks like this Vranesevich guy rubbed some people the wrong way.

  • Quad Damage by kang: This had one snippet of content, which was covered later in the node.

  • Flipmode Squad by kang: "flipmode is the squizod", no hardlinks. Buddha said "pay attention". Kang said "flipmode is the squizod". Kinda makes you think, doesn't it?

  • contrariwise by TheLocust: "A blend of two words, contrary and otherwise." Bullshit. I dislike people who make stuff up and then present it as fact.

  • Tacoma by patientfox: "A fucking pit of depravity!" I asked the user to add some content a few days ago. If you can't write a few lines on the "pit of depravity" theme, well, I just don't know what to say.

  • I understand this and find it very interesting, so i'm voting it up. by remleduff: It was a nodeshell. He wanted to know why it was empty, how he could vote on it, etc. I sent him a /msg explaining why it wasn't a good writeup, directing him to some documentation, and suggesting that he ask questions in the chatterbox rather than in writeups. (An hour later: He's done two good writeups, and I upvoted 'em both.)

  • wildebeast by chaosdiscord: "Big hairy animals, kinda like cattle, but much weirder." Misspelled title, not worth saving. I don't know if the user is "departed" or not: He was here on 9/30/00 and did one writeup; all previous writeups are 11/13/99. I /msg'd him anyway. Amida Buddha gets very angry when you misspell "wildebeest".

  • woodlice by goatfoam: "plural of woodlouse". Gee, I never knew that.

Uberfetus' quotation down there translates as "My underpants are chafing because I filled them with sherbet." Is this appropriate behavior for an editor? The guidelines clearly specify ice cream. I've followed the guidelines carefully and have experienced no chafing at all.

Nodeshells that Offend Jesus (and Amida Buddha, too) Just By Existing:


Considered killing the two write-ups in fun latin quotes for all the nonsense they contain (i.e., poor Latin). Then decided that those who know will ignore it anyway. Those who don't won't know any better, and seem to like it (both write-ups have been chinged). So, it stays. For now. If any Latinist objects, I shall kill it.

With I don't want to see you again I have joined the long line of editors who killed a write-up by herbapet. Its rep was at -5, it was a waste of bandwidth, it contained no links, and was riddled with bad spelling. Bad spells, too.

  • lead role in a cage by Dast: "Correction" writeup; refers to a deleted writeup anyway.
  • E2 cool request by break: You knew the day was coming for this one, pal. Let's not do this kind of thing.
  • GCSE by DavidWatters: "Evil things." Pointless.
  • drummming by Bluestream: "The act of playing the musical instrument drums." Uh, no. I think what you are describing is known as drumming.
  • jwz: Identification of messages delivered via both mail and news by  jes5199: The ugliest, worst-formatted node I have ever seen. Unreadable. Much more than twice the normal width. Sitting at -4 Rep at time of annihilation. If you're stealing HTML code from some other site, at least make sure it works on E2 first. I shouldn't have to scroll two pages to the right in order to vote.
  • sucking so hard a vacuum cleaner would be jealous by slarti: Uncreative mocking of Windows and Mac users.
Zapped Nodeshells: anti- themusic, Wyclef, and Gamaliel nodeshells, created through the everyone account.

Lots of chatting back and forth in the Chatterbox with new noders. Everyone helped out some. It was great. Blessed GreySoul and codic for asking questions and enthusiastically accepting advice and suggestions. Would that more Level One noders were so eager to increase their knowledge of how the database works...

Title Edit: changed "The treasure of the Sierra Madre" to The Treasure of the Sierra Madre, with ThePope's approval.

Zapped Nodeshells: the two mentioned in wharfinger's writeup above.
Killed the bastard son of mario (person) by wyked. Contained the following unearned bullshit and nothing else:

The bastard son of Mario (yes, mario of the popular 1986 NES game) is actually Tony Danza. He enjoys playing ping pong, meditating and boxing camera wielding paparazzi.

Everyone wave bye-bye!

Oh my God, you killed that bastard, you Kenny!

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