Editor Log: October 7, 2000

October 7, 2000
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O dem bones, behold the majesty of the nodeflow.

Hundreds upon hundreds of writeups and nodes have been fashioned from freegel by the industriousness of the noders.

On the whole, the rotation of nodegel has been accomplished without mishap.

knifegirl and I spent some time in The Crypt and in hidden pockets of nodegel helping to adjust the cilia and toxin sac of a new editorusergroup entity. The sac was spraying innocent nodes with XP loss. But everything fits properly now and seems fine. My thanks to knifegirl. She's my hero.

Today, all is well. But then the day has barely begun...

The quantity of freegel available for new nodes has been increased by the following generous donations:

• judges go fuck yourself...leave my shithole to me by fled user maori. Suggested by N-Wing.
• How to Dispose of a Corpse by Phyllis Stein.
• applets by dmd, by request.
• Epitath by Superunknown GP.

Deleted Users: srijith, mystic_mayhem, 867-5309, and MrZebra.

Zapped Nodeshells: too numerous to mention. None of 'em very interesting, though...

Killed: Rachel Hill's writeup in anima. In part, it read: "Well DUH!!!!! Please refer to Anime". (derisive snort) Speaking of "duh"...

Killed: sharpie's writeup in Surp Ass. Total Content: "lovely little girl that doesn't like boys." Oh, with lots of strange crudities secret-linked in. Pointless and meaningless. Nuked the nodeshell.

Killed: writeups by Descender and Hyperi0n FL in Fusi0n Labs. Misspelled, poorly linked, totally uninformative. Sounded like a couple of junior high kids bragging about their l33t skillz. Nuked the nodeshell.

Killed: k8to's writeup in hypertext. Total Content: "This was completely gratuitous, I just had to put it in here." Thanks for sharing. Enjoy the nuke.

Killed: writeups by h3rcusl333z in front 242 ("an dance industrial band from early/mid 80's alot like front line assembly(fla) in ways". I kid you not.), #tori ("A hip happening channel on undernet and i'm sure other ircnets". Useless. The second writeup had more info, and he admitted that he was just guessing), and i need a life ("what most people who are reading this should be thinking right now". No comment, but the jokes should be obvious.)

Remember the story of Esau, the hungry? How he sold his first-born rights to his younger brother for a bowl of lentils?

Well, history repeats itself.

Substitute one of the experienced noders for Esau. Substitute a level 1 noder named , for the younger brother.

In XP is the currency of E2 , described in biblical detail how he bought his level 2 from another noder for a bag of Skittles. The other noder was hungry, so , offered to buy him Skittles for two chings that would bring , up to level 2.

The noder complied. He ate the lentils, uh, Skittles, and chinged XP is the currency of E2 and User name nodes by ,.

That is extortion, plain and simple. And it shall not be tolerated on E2. Both write-ups are gone, back in the nodegel. And , is back to level 1.

You want level 2, kid? Earn it!!!

Thou shalt not buy XP
or surely thou shalt die!

The other noder, the extorted one, shall remain nameless for now. But sell even a single XP to a noder anytime in the future, and you shall suffer dire consequences along with the extortionist!

The editor awoke before noon. He fed his cat some food. He took a shirt from the ancient closet and he . . . walked on DOWN the hall . . .

• awful green things from outer space by Mars the Infomage (fled): "Hey look, it's Al Gore coming back from his very first space flight!" Look, I don't care what they told you on TV: Saying the name of somebody famous doesn't turn any arbitrary sentence into a joke. I'm sorry. It just doesn't work that way. You need a secret special ingredient, known as "wit".

• What is a Node dammit by 867-5309 (fled): A brief howl of anguish from a tormented soul not long for this website, to wit:

  "Why so short? Where the hell am I and what is a Node? Is that better? I don't mean to sound ignorant but I am. At least about this website. Consider this write up an experiment so to speak to see If anyone is out there that can explain where the hell I am right now and what I'm doing here. 867-5309"

  Just as a general rule, if you don't know what the hell you're doing here, neither does anybody else. We've got enough to contend with just working out what we're doing here.

• wanking by madjiik (fled): "Some men like to shoot holes in the ground with their dicks while wanking. Its how the Eclestites escaped from Cake!" Uh, Beavis?

• prat-farm-pretparlour sced goat trip tipper in hex land of ozzedle glory pipes of fuse and great min and mining ore of frozen molax an hand gristle by madjiik (fled): Okay, just for starters, there's no 'e' in "cardigan". Nary a one. For finishers, the entire writeup is gibberish. Sometimes I'm saddened by the fact that the kill-confirm dialog has only "OK" and "Cancel" buttons, when "Fuckin'-A Right!" is what I'm really looking for. This was one of those times.

• i dont like by madjiik: A list of things that he doesn't like, or wouldn't like if they existed. He's got a point about French tobacco, but on the whole it's a dismal waste of bandwidth.

• adequately internalized by madjiik: He's upset about something involving music and commercialism, but I'm damned if I can say exactly what it is. As for how it relates to the title, I'm stumped. This often happens to people who can't write very well: They try too hard and it all goes to pieces. Just say it, okay? Don't get all poetic, because it'll turn into gibberish. Don't try to use all those big long words, because you don't know what they mean. Just sit down and say it.

• abstract by madjiik: . . . and when they write that arglebargle, they call it "abstract" when they mean "unintelligible".

• teeth by madjiik: "If your teeth bite a light bulb, you will spill the blood. Bits of blood can often be found layering floors of factories, due to the need for pain." Okay: First, there's nothing there about teeth. Second, there's nothing else, either.

• teeth by the well-named bs (fled): "Plural of tooth. a Mouth is full of teeth." That's the kind of thing Santayana used to say.

• teeth by Captain Teeth: "Chomp, chomp, chomp! That's what teeth are good for. That and self-reference. Teeth means teeth, and anyone who sez otherwise can bite me." So true.

• existance by radu (fled): Mediocre definition, misspelled title. There's another writeup in the node, from a sensible and still-active noder who observes that it's misspelled. I asked him to do a nuke request so we can get rid of the whole abomination.

madjiik did say one very simple, clear, and true thing: "Parasites always think they're right!" I let that one live, even though it happened to apply to the author.

Noders Lacking Writeups: 867-5309