Elon Musk

Elon Musk is an engineer, entrepreneur, inventor, and visionary who has founded and co-founded a number of companies that have had large impact and success.

Elon Musk is known as a prodigious workaholic. He has for some time been CEO of multiple companies at the same time, most prominently SpaceX, which is leading efforts for a new generation of commercially developed reusable spacecraft with the stated goal of helping humanity become a multi-planetary species, and Tesla, which produces electric vehicles, solar energy capture systems, and battery energy storage systems, with the stated goal of accelerating humanity's transition to renewable energy.

He is a very hands-on CEO, often getting involved in engineering and design, while also planning how products can be developed in a way that makes it possible to bootstrap by having early generations of product finance the development of successive generations. He says he is driven by a desire to be happy about the future. He is a naturalized American citizen, but he grew up in South Africa, where he received an education that taught him one of his often described problem solving techniques, working from first principles. He has applied this technique to solve problems and create new solutions and companies in a way that has few comparisons.

His first big success was a relatively unknown company called Zip2, created at the dawn of the commercial world wide web. After that he helped create PayPal, followed by Solar City, Tesla (where he is counted as a founder although he was not there at the very beginning), SpaceX, and The Boring Company, which is focused on creating underground transportation alternatives using tunnels. He also envisioned and promoted a "Hyperloop" concept which would be a tube enabling long distance conveyance of passengers in capsules with high speeds enabled by a near vacuum atmosphere inside the tube.

Additionally he created OpenAI and NeuralLink, two companies aiming to enable and guide progress toward positive outcomes in artificial intelligence. Another company he has in preparation is Starlink, currently being developed under the SpaceX umbrella, which is a plan for a constellation of near-earth satellites that will support a low-latency network providing internet access covering most of the earth.

With all these accomplishments and activities, Elon Musk manages to find time to be active on social media. Although he's been compared to Thomas Edison as an inventor and captain of industry, he is quite a colorful figure, with public antics often drawing attention not characteristic of most CEOs. And as the CEO of several publicly traded companies, he sometimes gets criticized when his irreverence doesn't match people's expectations. Amongst his critics are some stock-shorting investors who would stand to profit if he is brought down, and they manage to sustain an ongoing onslaught of public criticism, some made up, and some based on Musk's actual statements or actions. In the meantime, he continues to have quite an impact, shipping real products, changing several industries, and generally helping to make the world a place where we can, as he puts it, "think about the future and not feel sad."

Elon Musk is a stupid motherfucker. 

People used to pretend he was the greatest genius of all time, mostly because he was a billionaire, and people love to kiss up to billionaires. Musk has never actually built anything, though. He just buys companies, has himself listed on the website as the founder, then runs the place into the ground. 

Dude paid $44 billion for a $15 billion company, which he's getting ready to completely destroy, in the process vastly reducing his own wealth and the status of his other companies, and he's still got thirsty alt-right dumbfucks lining up to eat his ass. 

"What's his genius plan?" ask all the tech reporters. "We know he must be a genius because he inherited so much money!" No, turns out he's a fucking moron! He's an apartheid princeling, so the kind of idiotsticks who think Donald Trump and Alex Jones are brilliant think Elon literally invented the electric car and space travel. A man who doesn't know how to dig a tunnel, and his sweaty, miserable Wormtongues insist he's humanity's greatest genius? 

So El Musko shows up with his stupid sink and fires half the staff. And then he kept firing people, as capriciously as he could. Complain about the boss and his mismanagement of the company? You're fired. Perform a vital duty for the company, like advertising, programming, or content moderation? You're fired, too. Once he'd fired all but a handful of content moderation staff, making it impossible to handle the sudden surge in hate speech and death threats, Skum started handling bans on his own. Leftists and antifa? Banned. Open and unapologetic Nazis? Welcome back! That's free speech, baby! Twitter is currently being run by a skeleton crew staff, with a constantly increasing number of bugs and glitches. And the Muskrat keeps simping desperately for Donald Trump -- and for some reason, Stephen King -- which of course guarantees both of them will ignore him, making him look even more pathetic. 

The self-proclaimed Greatest Champion of Free Speech (Nazis only) has also been busy banning journalists who report on him, anyone who tracks his movements or activities, and anyone who makes fun of his hair plugs. The bloated billionaire may not be able to pay his rent, put together an IKEA bookcase, or satisfy any of his ex-wives, but he's really talented at having shrieking meltdowns when anyone laughs at him. 

You know what would happen to your favorite brew pub if its slow-witted owner fired half the staff for funsies, all while busting glass mugs all over the bar, letting outright neo-Nazis scrawl swastikas all over the front window, and screaming about how he sure did love Donald Trump? It wouldn't be your favorite brew pub for very long. 

The facts are thus: none of the much-vaunted techbros are geniuses. They're incurious, extremely wealthy, extremely conservative doofuses, kept afloat by vice presidents and secretaries and assistants who know to keep the boss distracted, to keep him away from anything having to do with the company's actual operations. And Elon Musk, this flabby, pan-faced dimwit, this moistened lump of uncooked white dough, this self-impressed bag of unseasoned mashed potatoes, this wet-brained Trump-toadying fathead -- he's the dumbest of the bunch. 

In a sane world -- one where thundering morons didn't become multi-billionaires -- I'm not sure Elon would've lived to adulthood. He seems like the type who'd play stupid games with deadly toys, but even more than that, he's such a self-important asshole. Maybe that's a factor of wealth; maybe a poorer Elon would be a more humble Elon. But it's just as likely he'd say something stupid and rude to someone with a crowbar, and that'd be the end of one racist asshole. 

Honestly, the best way to save Twitter -- and Tesla and SpaceX -- might be for someone to give Musk a shiny new fidget-spinner and a juice box, wheel him out to the loading dock, and lock the door back in. If he can figure out a way back in -- well, there's always another fidget-spinner and juice box to get him back out of the way.