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Employment Anti-Discrimination Rights Once Again Denied To Assholes
Assholes reply, "Yeah, well, fuck you."

WASHINGTON DC -- Assholes fed up with employment discrimination have been demanding fair treatment as of late, due to the record breaking advances made by African-Americans, LGBT people, and disabled people.

During a recent Supreme Court trial, the LDA (that would be League of Douchebags and Assholes, a lobbyist organization for the asshole community) contends that assholes should not be discriminated in terms of employment, no matter how many other people see them as jerks.

"You know that pathetic crippled prick who I see on the train every morning? Found out he got a job the other day. If he can find work, so can I, and because I'm being shut down by anyone who interviews me just because I notice how thick their fucking unibrow is, that shouldn't be a cause for me not to be hired," says Michael Kovawicz, a long-time member of the LDA.

Other notable incidents involved an asshole who was forced out of his job because, in his own words, he "had it up to here with all this bullshit about not being allowed to grab the ass of his coworkers", and another asshole was denied employment because he let his interviewer know how big her tits were, and how he wanted to place his genitalia between them.

"This isn't fair," commented Chad Jones, "I can tear my friends' reputation to little shits on the floor and walk around talking about how my female friends are stanking and they need to douche in the bar, but this isn't acceptable in the work place? Other people who have jobs need to drink too."

The Vice Motherfucker of the LDA, Dennis Leary said, "we're gonna have a little sit-down with those fags in the Supreme Court and we're gonna let them know that we won't be silenced in the workplace!"

The case reached a verdict of 5-4 against the LDA. Justice Scalia remarks, "he called me an asswipe, and I didn't think that was very nice, so I'm all against assholes in the workplace."
To whoever softlinked "plagiarism", please google search any text from this writeup. It is owned by me. Thank you muchly.

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