How to put into words what this date signifies to me and to my family without pushing a lot of emotional buttons? I find myself torn between just going ahead and pushing buttons (but past experience tells me that this amounts to "soliciting condolences") or stressing the time factor (but past experience tells me that this sounds like I'm over it...I'm not). It has been twenty years, today. And twenty four years since my twin "B"'s first child was born. Let's call him "T".
"T" turned four the day his grammy, Sheri, died. The phone call came that morning so we had time to gather that afternoon. "T" was expecting a birthday party and we were all there. What a strange birthday party this must have seemed to a four year old! We had chosen his and his parents' home as a gathering place. Under the circumstances I, for one, had completely forgotten that it was also "T"'s birthday. It was my youngest daughter, (Tree), who was still in high school (senior), that "broke the ice". We all sat around with long faces for what seemed like forever. Finally Tree gave us all a good dressing down. "We should all be ashamed of ourselves!", she said, "Mom would be so mad at us for acting like this!"
This tongue lashing, coming as it did from a sweet little sixteen year old girl who had just been hit with a "Mack Truck", was just the dash of sanity we needed. I can't begin to describe how grateful I am for her bravery today. Soon we were telling stories and even laughing. I can't say with finality that "T" got the fourth birthday party that he deserved, but the atmosphere improved immensely.
"T" got married last year and he and his wife are the cutest couple ever. Ok, maybe I am a little bit biased. To this day, he probably has some difficulty celebrating this day, his birthday, because of "that other thing" that also happened on the same day of the year. Happy Birthday, grandson! I know your grammy, more than anyone, would want you to enjoy this day, (your day). If you don't believe me, just ask your aunt, Tree!