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It's hard enough that the love of my life loves me also, but that he has a constitution which prevents his feelings from including eros as well as agape. It doesn't help that I cannot and am sure never will be able to understand the aspect of the majority of people that makes them require a particular sort of genitalia on a person in order to love them. I realize that it could be worse, in that most such people rule out agape as well when the equipment doesn't match their needs, but Edward is not that far gone.

So of course it's painful to me when he takes up with a new girlfriend; when his wordless statement is that this is the person I'm now going to share parts of my life with that I won't share with you, just because you're a man. I've had more than one or two opportunities to deal with that pain, but practice has so far failed to make perfect.

Now, while I'm still not a great swimmer, to use a metaphor, I've been thrown into the deep end: the new woman in his life is a coworker of both of us. And while he isn't the type to abandon his friends when he's got a new girlfriend (a fact which I once remarked to him and said that I was cognizant and appreciative of it), and they aren't feeling the need to be all over each other in the office, nevertheless it feels like a yet deeper circle of Hell than the previous ones.

And, to nobody's surprise, least of all mine, the cookie and pastry diet I've adopted lately hasn't helped.

Woke up this morning in a swoon. No, not because Scarlett Johanssen was fixing me waffles in my kitchen wearing nothing but a Catholic schoolgirl uniform. I was swooning thanks to a fever. I was also out of sorts because I had been up most of the night coughing and mixing OTC medications. By the time the alarm went off at 0555, I was in no shape to go to work.

I slept, blissfully doped, until almost 1100. When I woke, my throat was raw from coughing and clearing my throat. Wifey and the baby went out to keep from having to listen to HAAKRKKAKKRRRKKKCACACCKKK!!! every five minutes. I spent the day doing as little as possible.

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