Yesterday I went to therapy, and it was wonderful. Making a mistake is different than doing something wrong; as in, I might know the proper procedures, but forget vs I know I am doing something that isn't correct, accurate, right, ethical, or moral. The good news is that my therapist helped me identify some patterns from the past. I've also been listening to my Emotional Freedom audiobook by Dr. Judith Orloff, and I really need to hear the things she has to say. It doesn't necessarily make things better, it just makes them easier to work through if that makes sense. Employees have no leverage at work. They are basically at the whim of management, and it sucks that this is how it is in corporate America. It's much worse in other countries, the other day I played the game that someone developed that mirrors what life is like as a 'casual' employee at an Amazon wearhouse. A guy I used to go out with works as a picker for a major retailer, and he has stories, but many of them are good ones about how they hire diversity, and how others have helped him along his journey there.
After therapy I went to a job interview that was a complete waste of time, ironically was offered a position working for the parent company I'm currently at, I had a good laugh about that, drove to Starbucks, ordered a chai latte, went and got my nails done, and then met a friend out for a drink. We sat at the bar talking for hours, I couldn't even tell you what we all covered, only that we had a good time sitting on those slippery stools. I'm almost done working for the week, and I'm praising God that I made it through these past couple of days. I need another $500 in sales to meet my goal, and one more shift to do it in, that might or might not sound like much, but I'm actually really proud of myself for getting this far. Considering that my boss who works full time didn't make it, I was sick one day, helped out at another store for several shifts, and am still relatively new, I think that's admirable. Of course I will be disappointed if this doesn't end up happening, but it will strengthen my resolve and make me a better employee next month. I'm really looking forward to having a good day tomorrow, and already have the cleaning tasks done so I can focus on sales and just having some fun at work.
My youngest is still not feeling well. I sent her the name and number of her pediatrician and then called her on my way home. She said she hadn't called because she doesn't like leaving messages, and doesn't have her voicemail set up yet. I could have called for her, but that would have been enabling so I tried to make a joke about it. I had a great conversation with one of my aunts, and then my daughter sent me a text to let me know that she had left a message and officially has set up her voicemail! The small things in life really are the big things, I forget that far too often. It is so important to befriend yourself, sounds strange, but I know so many who struggle with this, myself included. Another high note, a recruiter is reaching out to a company where I interviewed before. I'm working with a new realtor, but going to contact the guy I used previously. Things will work out, the current challenges will soon pass, and I will be faced with new ones that make this seem like a cake walk. I'm a great employee, my therapist made a cool chart that I wish I could replicate here, but at least it's in my mind and I have there to reference whenever I need it most. I am smart, I am fun, I am positive, I work hard, I am conscientious, and many companies would love to have an employee like me! Great things are just ahead, things are going to change, I can feel it...
Xoxo,
J
P.S. I need to get back to the art studio ASAP. My creative side has been languishing.
j