Day nine: I didn't journal yesterday, and I'm okay with that. Last
night I dreamt that I was in charge of a baby. When I woke up there were
people over at my house including a man who showed up with four wooly
lambs that ran into my home. I didn't have time to get ready for the
party that was outside, there must have been thirty or forty people
over. Some of them couldn't find the baseball fields at school so I had
to describe where they were. When they were gone, I was left trying to
keep kids away from the giant room sized copier that was suddenly in my
backyard. The baby's mom arrived and took the baby away from me before I
had a chance to change his diaper. The baby had told me he had a tumor
on his head so his mom showed it to me and I woke up feeling very upset
about the dream and the baby who reminds me of a young child I know in
real life.
Objects: Bed, baby, guests, man, lambs, people, huge copier, mom.
I spend a lot of time in bed, and I really like my bedding so I would
say that the bedding represented tranquility and a place of comfort for
me. I am a mom in real life, and sometimes I think it would be really
neat to have a son. I'm sure it would be. I'm done having kids, but the
dream is reminding me that I'm a woman with reproductive potential, and
the man on my doorstep with the lambs could represent unmet fertility
even though I wasn't attracted to him or have sexual feelings about our
encounter. I see the Wool book before I go to bed, maybe that
subconsciously influenced my dream, and I was writing about two people
who were discussing children before I went to bed, so that could be a
factor as well. I think the people represent the diversity of
personalities and interests I know and have in my real life. I'm always
meeting new people, and I think this is confusing at times since I tend
to become unfocused.
I'm good at many things, and if that many people did show up at my
house for a party when I was wearing my pajamas, I would just roll with
it so I think the people are a sign of how far I've come in terms of my
ability to deal graciously with the unforeseen. The copier is a bit of a
mystery to me. I believe that it represents technology, and I'm viewing
it as hampering my interactions with others. I'm so focused on it, even
though I can't move or use it, that it interferes with me being able to
talk to and get to know my guests better.
What I think the dream means: There are things that I want out of my
life that I'm working towards, and part of life is realizing that you
can't have everything you want. I'd like to have better relationships
with my children and learn more about what's important to them. The baby
telling me had a tumor is analogous to my children telling me things
that I didn't know that are very important to them, and I want to have a
larger role in their lives and do more things with them. I went to my
class again last night which was good, but that also meant I didn't get
to see the girls during that time, and when I came back they were
getting ready for bed, and I want them to have a better balance of mom
and alone time. I'd also like us to work on being a more cohesive family
unit. The dream sounds superficially strange, but I believe it was
actually poignant, and revealing, and I'm glad I had it despite some of
the feelings it left me with.