Your friend Behr is recovering from unexpected "illness" (not a sign of weakness as it followed non-scientific based self-surgery which requires balls you don't have). It was touch and go there for a while, but Mr. Blofeld and his cloying polyester women have helped me by encasing me in some kind of fluid tank that is supposed to excite my body and make it heal itself non-scientifically. Avoiding encounters with science is important if you want to lead a good life. Rejecting the hateful ways of liberalism and science has made me the man I am today. Join with me in the revolution for freedom!
I've wrapped a piece of sheet metal around my waistline and used the welding attachment on my X-Man type hand to weld it to myself in order to prevent my organs from leaking out. When that didn't work (apparently you cannot weld metal to skin - who knew???) I began scooping out the things I didn't need. There was a whole lot of kielbasa and a number of oddly shaped pieces that looked like they can from the children's game Operation and therefore not necessary. I found a waste basket in my room and pulled all that stuff out of me and threw it in the trash can. Now, medical science and its lies tell me I cannot go on living, and yet by doing this I am no longer a fat man. I am thin and more youthful and energetic. I am able to put on two shoes before leaving the inside to go outside. I am able to learn lessons such as these, deducing through non-scientific methods that if you only wear one shoe it slows you down and the sock becomes wet and distended anywhere from two to eight inches from the end of your foot. And it gets wet. No longer will I do this.
Maybe tomottow I will be ready to go. I'm going to cauterize the huge gashes in my guts now and won't be able to type at the same time.
My friends... do not fear. I can only become stronger.
Soon, my friends. Soon.