The International Feminist Conspiracy has acquired nuclear weapons. Hillary Clinton snuck a round dozen warheads out of the Oval Office in her purse when nobody was looking. Those liberals are sneaky like that!

Pursuant to paragraph 9, page 43 of The Feminist Agenda (Bard College Press, 1971) they intend to kill off every man on Earth except for Alan Alda and Charles Nelson Reilly. When the Agenda was composed, Andy Warhol, Truman Capote, and Moshe Dayan were on the list as well, but they checked out early.

Our only hope is constant vigiliance! If we're watching, then they'll be, like, scared to try anything.

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