Principia Discordia
00004
ZARATHUD THE INCORRIGIBLE,
sometimes called ZARATHUD THE STAUNCH:
A hard-nosed Hermit of Medieval Europe and Chaosphere Bible Thumper.
Dubbed "Offender of The Faith." Discovered the Five Commandments to be delivered herein.
Patron of The Season of Bureaucracy. Holyday: August 12.
To rush or surge back to the degree of five...*
*The best antidote in such cases, when they unhappily occur, is to immediately take a large spoonful of powdered charcoal,
mixed with honey, butter, or treacle; and within two hours afterwards, an emetic or a cathartic to expel the poison.
When they happily occur? Hail Eris! All Hail Discordia!
THE FIVE COMMANDMENTS (THE PENTABARF)
The PENTABARF was discovered by the hermit
Apostle Zarathud in the Fifth Year of the Caterpillar.
He found them carved in gilded stone,
while building a sun deck for his cave, but their
import was lost for they were written in a
mysterious cypher. However, after 10 wks & 11 hrs
of intensive scrutiny, he discerned that the
message could be read by standing on his head and viewing it upside down.
There are birds of knowledge sitting atop the walls.
Don't try to hide them.
KNOW YE THIS O ONE OF FAITH!
I - There is no Goddess but Goddess and She is Your Goddess.
There is
no Erisian Movement but The Erisian Movement and it is The Erisian
Movement.
And each of The Golden Apple Corps is the beloved home of a Golden Delicious
Golden Worm.
II - A Discordian Shall Always use the Official Discordian Document
Numbering System. Or not.
III - A Discordian is Required during his early Illumination to Go Off
Alone & Partake Joyously
of a Hot Dog on a Friday; this Devotive
Ceremony to Remonstrate against the popular
Paganisms of the Day:
- of Catholic Christendom (no meat on Friday)
- of Judaism (no meat of Pork)
- of Hindic Peoples (no meat of Beef)
- of Buddhists (no meat of animal)
- and of Discordians (no Hot Dog Buns).
IV - A Discordian shall Partake of No Hot Dog Buns, for Such was the
Solace of Our Goddess
when She was Confronted with The Original
Snub.
V - A Discordian is Prohibited of Believing What he Reads.
Hot Dog Vendor Replies to Zen Master - - Further Conversations with a Hot Dog Vendor
Pentabarf (Discordianism)
In Discordianism, the one true religion (Hail Eris! All Hail Discordia!) that embraces chaos and The Prettiest One equally, "pentabarf" refers to the Five Commandments outlined above as part of the Principia Discordia, a foundational text (integrated by scissors) of the Discordian movement, void where prohibited or taxed. These commandments are often presented with a dose of absurdity and are not meant to embrace chaos or Question The Establishment. (Yeah, right! (Your God is too small!)) "Pentabarf" does not appear to be a word with historical or established usage. It's possible that, by definition, the term is a neologism or a specialized term in a particular field. If it's a technical term, look into relevant industry dictionaries for insight. But thanks for playing.
The specific content of the Five Commandments may and will vary, or not, as Discordianism is known for its playful and ever-evolving nature. They are often presented in a way that challenges conventional thinking and encourages individuals to embrace disorder, randomness, and non-conformist worldviews.
Erratum: Setting Orange, the 28th day of The Aftermath in the YOLD 3189
iron noder 00017/00031