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"They will battle in a battle where there can be no winner! WHO WILL WIN???"



During the week of March 21-28, 2004, the Discovery channel ran a miniseries named "Shark vs. Crocodile", trying to determine once and for all an answer to the question that has divided bored children since time immemorial. The show attacked the problem through simulations and design analysis, up to and including building robot models of the shark and the crocodile. Cartoon Network, however, refused to be upstaged in the ludicrous combat department, and whipped up their own week-long tie-in, presented during their late-night Adult Swim segment: Flying Shark vs Flying Crocodile. Like most of AS's special events, FSvFC consisted of custom bumpers run between commercial breaks and show content; these would present either commercials for the event (spoofing the over-the-top spots used for wrestling, boxing, or monster truck rallies), choice quotes from the raging debate on the message boards dedicated to the competition, or simulated shark-crocodile fights re-enacted with sock puppets. The outcome of the fight was determined with an online poll.

Billed as "Destructive Denizen of the Deep", the flying shark was a normal Great White Shark with a jetpack and tiny arms that allowed him to manipulate its controls. Like any self-respecting shark, it was also armed with its streamlined body, acute senses, and vast numbers of razor-sharp teeth.

The flying crocodile was touted as "Nihilistic Nightmare from the Nile." It was, again, a relatively normal crocodile, except for its well-developed dextrous limbs and feathery, birdlike wings. It also appeared to be wearing a spandex costume.

As the contest went on, the flying shark and flying crocodile hand puppets began to attack each other instead of merely taunt, and activity on the message board reached a fever pitch. The result of the contest was announced on the 28th of March- the flying crocodile was victorious, winning by a landslide vote. Its agility and manipulative ability had won out over the shark's undirected brute force, crowning the flying crocodile the new king of the sky.

"Questions will be asked- AND DESTROYED! BY ANSWERS!"

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