Friday the 13th Part VII: The New Blood (1988) - Weasello Rating: {----} (Baa-aa-aa-d) {{ Prequel | Sequel }}
Please note that this review is laden with spoilers.

Jason Injury Count: Jason gets arguably the most frivoulous and odd-sounding injuries in this movie - starting with being tripped by roots of a tree and landing in a puddle. He then took some "Damage" being electrocuted in said puddle, but no visible damage took hold. He was "headbutted" by a decapitated head, and a flying couch hit him squarely in the chest. An entire front porch section of a house collapses with Jason on it, resulting in many beams of wood and a hefty-looking-roof crushing him. Heading back up some stairs, he was hit squarely in the face by a hanging light fixture, which sent him flying back down the stairs - his massive weight crashing through the steps and getting several lacerations. He is strangled by a wire and lifted high off the ground, then goes crashing through the floor into a basement. He is struck in the head and his mask shatters, then a jar full of nails gets flung at him. Adding insult to injury, the lead character dumps gasoline in his wounds (that's gotta sting!) and he is lit on fire. The entire house then promptly explodes (judging from the blast radius, there must have been a meth farm in there) with Jason inside. Obviously, this could never be enough to finish Jason off, so he is further stabbed in the hand, shot thrice in the chest, and strangled by a chain and dragged underwater by another dead guy. Huzzah!

Bodycount: 16 (8 Male, 8 Female) +1 Female in a dream sequence.

Plot Outline: This movie is set (obviously) on Crystal Lake, mainly within 2 houses. The first house is the standard Friday the 13th party-house, where "teenagers" get naked and party, and the second house, which is home to the PSYCHO-KINETIC-EMPOWERED-WOMAN. Yes, The F13 series has sunk to a new low. This girl can hurl severed heads, couches, and even common household nails at Jason using only the power of her mind!

When this supernatural girl was a child on Crystal Lake, she accidentally killed her father while he was standing on a pier - her psychokinetic abilities collapsed the pier, drowning the man. Now, years later, she brings her dad back to life (!!!) who proceeds to grab Jason with a chain and do him in for good*.

Though this movie had PK-opportunities, it was the most boring and worst movie of the entire series. That is, "the entire series ever made," not "the entire series up to this movie." Out of all ten movies, watching this last (or not at all) will not alter your Jason-viewing-pleasure; indeed, it may better your experience.

Interesting Notes:
  • This is the first F13 movie to contain a power tool used by Jason! A few movies ago a girl used a chainsaw for a few moments in defense against Jason, but that is the only other power tool captured on film.
  • Tires squeal a hell of a lot on those dirt roads...
  • No dead bodies get thrown through windows! One can count on at least one dead body flying through a window in each F13 movie, but Jason instead flings his own body through a window in this film.
Lead roles: Directed by: John Carl Buechler

Writing credits: Manuel Fidello, Daryl Haney

Tagline: On Friday the 13th, Jason will meet his match.
Sources: The oh-so-wonderful IMDB, my head, and the box.

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