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One of the greatest things about being little is that you are totally unaware that there are some things you're not supposed to play with. Because of this blessed ignorance, I discovered many wonderful things to play with during the course of my childhood. I also discovered some not so wonderful things. (Threshing machines, incidentally, should not be played with.)

One of the most wonderful toys of my childhood oddly enough, where feminine hygiene products. The number of games an imaginative child can play with some tampons and pads is truly breath taking. Early on I discovered that tampon applicators make great space ships, especially if you take the trouble to singe the back end of one slightly to simulate the exhaust end of a thruster. Give the back end of the applicator a good hard whack, and an escape pod launches.

A few pads stuck to the walls make an excellent radar array to track your incoming craft. In the event that your craft is hostile orienting the business end of a feminine wash towards the ship and giving the bulb a good hard thump, will send up a broad beam surface to air assault. Conversely if the craft is friendly then a few pads stuck to the counters make a fine landing strip for your craft to rest and re-fuel.

Sci-fi aside, tampons in particular are rather neat devices. If you pop the little cottony end out and cup it in your hand so the string dangles out between your two center fingers. You can then turn the water on just a tiny trickle and watch the tampon bloom just like a little flower when you put it under the water. Some tampons are even perfumed so they even smell like flowers as you watch them open up.

Another good use for pads is as emergency post-it notes. You do need a marker to write on them, but their backs are just as adhesive, you get more writing space, and EVERYONE notices your note.

Pads, it's worth noting are also excellent vehicles for "kick me" signs.

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