Oh, hey there. I'm Galzeekebull, the
fear-eating
demon. Don't worry, I won't
scare you. I've already had
dinner.
Now, see, people are always freaking out over fear-eating demons. I guess it's because, well, I mean we
do eat fear. But really, we aren't
dangerous by nature. I mean, we don't want to
hurt anyone, we just want to scare you. Okay, yeah there are some fear-eating demons who use
torture, but that's not because they're demons. It's because they're
assholes.
Let me explain it this way. Torturing people for fear is like.... it's like hitting up a
fast food chain to get some conveniently quick crappy
calories because you're too
lazy to learn to
cook something
gourmet. You want a gourmet meal? First you go out and pick up the right
ingredients; then you follow a
recipe, but you
improvise as well, knowing just when to add a
pinch of this or try a
sprinkle of that.
Like a subtle
seasoning which enriches the meal even though you can't put your
finger on it, the most
delicious fears arise from
subtlety as well. The
chill discomfort you feel when the
temperature inexplicably seems to drop a few
degrees; the
hairs of your
neck standing from the sound of a
twig snapping so faintly that it barely registers in your conscious
mind. The sudden sensation of something brushing unseen against your
foot -- a
spider? a
centipede? was it your
imagination? Are you going
mad? And I do like to clear the
palate between courses --
....those noises in the darkness, what is it? Who's there? Did I just hear a sharply drawn breath? Something's right next to me!! .... oh, whew, it's just the cat, alright, clear off you little-- HOLY SHIT MONSTROUS FANGED HELLBEAST HOVERING OVER ME!! BATLIKE WINGS COVERED IN SO MANY HORRID LEERING EYES!! CAN'T.... MOVE.... SPINE-CLAWED HAND REACHING FOR MY FACE-- AAAAAAIIIIHHHH!! wha--? I guess.... guess I must have been having a nightmare. Why, there's nothing there at all. I'll try to get back to sleep. But, gah, why is it suddenly so chilly in here?
Now that, friend, is better than you'll get in any fast food restaurant. I'll have to eat here again!!