I'm all for women in technology, but I was once forced into fanaticism by circumstance.

Once upon a time I was helping a girl out with her C++ homework, making light conversation all the while. It came up, in passing, that I found it rare but pleasing to see a high percentage of female computer science majors at Marist.

So far so good, right?

Then, at another point in the evening, I realized "Man, she really has knack none for programming....", and started asking her why she got into CS in the first place. Turns out she had never really used computers much before college, but thought she would do well in CS because her math and science scores were good in high school.


I have always considered this a bad reason to get into CS, and was not hesitant to tell her so. She was not happy.

A week later, another girl (an excellent programmer, as it happens) came up to me and said "What's with you and women in CS?" Turns out that Ms. Math and Science had been going around telling people I was a chauvinist bastard who thought women couldn't be programmers.

I was unhappy.

So, for a month or so, I had to go around persuading people that I was in fact not a pig, and thought women could be just as good with computers as men. And the bitch maintains to this day that I told her to find another major because she's female.

Nerd girls are all great and fine unless you live with one another and only have one computer. I don't give a shit how cute you are, when I want on my computer that means now; I will use the "Remote Ejection Seat" feature of my ErgoMastrnerd throne if you linger too long getting out of it.

When it is time to feed the beast, there are no prisoners.
Being the geeks we are, we spent too much time in the computer labs in high school. We met a number of intelligent nerds just from noticing who was hanging out there, and our attempt to resurrect the computer club almost worked. But one thing always got in the way:
Girls asking for help.

My friends were such suckers. A girl would flap her big eyebrows at one of them and say the magic words "Oh big strong computer geek, would you puh-lease help me with my c++ program?" At which point I would look at the friend stare into space and know that computer club or whatever project we were working on was done for the day.

Every single time, without fail, the guy ended up programming the entire thing while the girl sat back and say "uh-huh" at all the right places, totally def to his honest attempt to explain programming.

I'm really proud of one friend for his dealings in this matter. This one girl caught him, leashed him, and led him on, keeping him ready for whenever she had a project due the next day, and consistently playing coy in between. After a few weeks(err, months, about a year actually...) he got totally frustrated with her and realized what she was doing. That he was a tool, and nothing more. The next "night before" when she ICQed him begging him to do her C++ program for her, he said sure. "Sure, I'll explain it to you, but you have to write it." She threw a fit and hasn't talked to him since. He made his stand, and she assured him his fears were correct.

Guys: they're just using you! Unless it's a girl you're already friends with, don't be suckered in. She's not going to suddenly fall in love with you when you do her work. She'll continue ignoring you until she needs another project done.

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