Uh, y-yes sir! I finally did get that concept approval and--

Grab my balls!


I said grab my balls!

Uh, sir...

God dammit, Jenkins, grab my balls!

But... I-I don't...

Do I have to say it in Spanish?!


Grabbo my ballzo!



Listen, s-sir, um, what--?

Jesus Christ Jenkins, you don't speak Spanish or English?!


Would you like me to say it in Cantonese? I don't know Cantonese, but I can give it a whirl!

Listen, sir, I don't know what this balls thing is but--

They're BALLS, Jenkins! My nuts! Family Jewels! Now grab 'em! Grab 'em god dammit!

But I, I uh, I don't want to--

Listen, Jenkins, if there's one thing I've learned in my fifty-six years, it's that when an opportunity presents itself, take advantage of it, and do it quickly! Because it may never present itself again!

But I do--

Like the time I saw a line of old ladies with walkers outside the rest home. I pushed the one in the back forward and the rest fell like a line of dominos! It was, in a word: AWESOME. But the point is, you may never get a chance to grab my balls again. This is a one-time offer.

B-but, sir--

God dammit, Jenkins! Enough with the butts! I didn't ask you to grab my butt, I asked you to GRAB MY BALLS! Grab 'em and SQUEEEEEEEEEZE 'em! Don't worry, I can handle it. One of 'em's steel anyway, got the right one shot off in 'Nam!

It's just innap--!

DAMMIT, Jenkins! I didn't scrimp and save and sacrifice - eating the family dog for food and burning my entire Journey album collection to keep the house warm - and then start a website business - see that one go under when the Dot com bubble burst - and then start another one with the money I made pimping out my only daughter, just to have an employee refuse to grab my balls when I ask him to! Here, I'll even pull 'em out for ya!


Oh, god. L-Listen, sir, isn't this some kind of harrasm--?

Harassment?! Harassment?! Jenkins, you don't know harassment! I'll tell ya what's harassment! Somebody, day in and day out, over and over, constantly, yelling, screaming, nonstop, for you to stop sitting on her child's head! Now THAT's harassment, son! This, this is just me asking you to grab my goddamn balls!

Sir, I am sorry, I just am not going to grab your balls! I’m sorry, I just--

You know what? FINE! You’ve lost your chance, Mister! You’ll NEVER get another opportunity to grab my balls… EVER AGAIN! I’m taking me and my balls over to Callahan’s cubicle! I know that HE’LL appreciate this opportunity! I am DISAPPOINTED in you, Jenkins! DISAPPOINTED!

Well, sir… uh. *sigh!* I… ugh.


Yes, sir?

Grab my balls!

Sure, sir!

Aaahhhhh! See, Jenkins! Now was that so hard?!
N-no, Callahan, I wasn’t talking about that!

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