They were acting up again. They always did. I try. I always do try, but usually it's not enough. I'd been through three floods, and earthquake, and a tried-and-true plague of locusts this time around. Out of love, you understand. It was something to shake them up, get them knocking down their idols, the whole usual bit. Can't let your own children screw up. Like spanking a baby, but on a cosmic scale.

I do the cosmic scale thing well. You could say it's my job. Still, sometimes things don't work out. This was shaping out to be one of those times. When you look down on the face of your cosmos, see idolaters, usurers, false prophets, all running 'round like they own the place, it's enough to make me rethink free will. I tried a universe without free will once, though, and it didn't really work out well. I mean, it worked, but it just wasn't interesting. I still loved the little fuckers, that being my nature and all, but they bored me. Eventually, I just imploded the whole damn cosmos. Out of love.

Believe me, compared to that, a few idolaters are positively run-of-the-mill. Not that I wasn't going to smite them down with lightning out of the heavens, or maybe send some bears to eat them. I haven't done bears in a while. It sounds extreme, maybe, but when you love your children, you want them to love you back. Think about your father. You've got a father, I assume, unless I'm doing one of the parthenogenesis things right now. I have trouble keeping those straight.

But, anyway, think about your father. He'd be sad if you decided somebody else was your father. He might even spank you. Or send bears to eat you, if he could. You get the idea. It's the same sort of thing. It's not like I enjoy the bears, and the lightning from the heavens, and all that, but it's something I have to do; don't hold it against me.

Remember, God loves his children. Who's your daddy?

On a nodeshell challenge from r4v5.

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