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"Hey scouts! Mister Terrific says to brush after every meal, and not to leave your wallet on the dresser or else the hooker will probably swipe it!"

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Every heard of Beppo the Super Monkey? How about Skateman? Maybe Killdozer? Jonathan Morris has, and according to him, you ain't missing much.

Jonathan Morris is the brains behind Gone And Forgotten, a website devoted to scathing reviews of the comics nobody seems to remember.

The website delves into some of the thousands of superheroes who didn't quite cut the mustard for various (usually pretty obvious) reasons, as well as ill-advised one-offs from the superheroes we all know and love. His reviews are extremely funny (his most current takes on a Captain America Public Service Announcement from the eighties about the dangers of narcotics and opens with the line, ""When Captain America throws his mighty shie-e-e-e-eld, all those who chose to smoke lots of weed and snort blow off a hooker's ass must yi-e-e-e-e-eld ...!") and are extremely pointed in their criticisms. This man pulls no punches.

And yet it's obvious that he's a fan. His knowledge of backstory and plot is almost encyclopedic and his love for the characters he mounts on a large, rotating spit is abundantly clear. He brings this stuff to the forefront because he cares. I'm guessing he's hoping the guys over at DC and Marvel stumble across his site and smack their collective foreheads while exclaiming "EGADS! THIS is what we've been doing wrong all these years! What have we been thinking!"

I'm also guessing he secretly hopes they don't listen to him, judging from the amount fun he seems to have at their expense.

Gone And Forgotten is available for your reading pleasure at http://ape-law.com/GAF/

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