Hans Moleman

Misfortunes of Hans Moleman

• Gets his driver's license voided by Selma at the DMV.
• Is attacked by birds at the bird sanctuary (a la Hitchcock's The Birds).
• Crashes a truck full of sugar.
• While transporting the house of Edgar Allen Poe, Homer runs him off the road, resulting in his truck bursting into flames.
• His AMC Gremlin bursts into flames after he crashes it into a tree.
• Buried alive at the cemetery.
• His eyeglasses magnify the sun causing intense heating and his shirt catches on fire.
• Gets sent to the electric chair.
• Mr. Burns bores a drill hole in his head to catch his lucky charms.
• Is left behind an operating X-ray machine for a weekend.
• His food business is shut down by the Mafia.
• His car gets stuck into the side of Planet Hype!.
• Homer hits him over the head with the book How to Tunnel Out of Prison.
• Gets suffocated by a giant bubble.
• Homer throws a poisonous pastry at him.
• Gets hypnotized into thinking that The Simpsons are his family.
• Falls down a flight of stairs at a hockey game.
• Has five minutes of his life stolen when he is locked inside of the Quick-E-Mart.
• Gets dragged away by men in white coats at the Springfield Retirement Castle when he asks, "Didn't that movie used to have a war in it?" after viewing an "Edited for Seniors" version of Gone With the Wind.
• Gets threatened by a pushy New Yorker.
• Gets rejected at the bachelor auction.
• Nearly blinds everybody in the museum when he uses flash photography to take a picture of Springfield's famous Largest Cubic Zirconia In the World.

And countless others...