The Hard, Crusty Armour of Antismiting is what one acquires after years of having their romantic aspirations repeatedly crushed like soggy dead worms. Basically, it enables the wearer to resist the infatuation-inducing charms of lovely/handsome members of their preferred gender.

This item is in fact a cursed -1 Armour of Romantic Vulnerability. Though it gives the wearer the impression of protection, it in fact is sometimes wholly useless in any encounter with (or sighting of) a new Special Someone (10% chance in any new encounter). In addition, subsequent romantic letdowns do 2d4 additional emotional damage and increase the wearer's Bitterness by 1d4.

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