Has a cat ever killed anyone?

"Meow."

December 15, 2000 - Calcutta, India:
A 30 year old man, believed to be drunk, was killed by a tiger in view of spectators at Alipur Zoo. The man jumped over a fence into the tiger enclosure, pissing the tiger off, causing it to swipe at him with his paw. One blow killed him.

January 22, 2000 - Rome, Italy:
A local man who kept wild animals as pets, was found dead. He had been eaten by one of his lions. You DO have to feed them, you know.

November 18, 1999 - China:
Four tigers mauled a driver to death at a safari park. He had left his bus to make repairs. You know those signs that say "Do not leave vehicle"? They're not kidding.

September 21, 2000 - Vandalur, India:
A zookeeper died after being mauled by a panther at the Arignar Anna Zoological Park while she was cleaning the cage.

What's that? Oh, you meant a house cat? Well damn...

Well, just today, I read the 'odd spot' in the local newspaper.
A Canadian man, in his 80's, was spraying his parrot with water (that's how you clean a bird).

He accidentally got the cat.

The cat launched a frenzied attack on the man.
He lost a pint of blood. Not sure what would have happened if his wife hadn't come in.

One tends to wonder how often this cat might have been accidentally sprayed.

DARK

It's January. It's 1998. I was grateful to have made it through the first 3 days of the Ice Storm with electricty intact. My luck had changed. It's late, and with no street lights shimmering through the windows it's very, very dark in the apartment.

An ounce of prevention... I had enjoyed laughing outrageously at my neighbours across the street who had lost power days before. So much so that I neglected to take out candles and leave them in an easily accessible spot. Stumble... Ah! The camping gear. Shuffle Shuffle... Ah my Maglite! Not the mini-Mag mind you. The towering, shimmering staff of illumination. It's big. It's heavy. It takes three D batteries. And now,I can see!

Having retrieved enough candles to keep warm and see, I decided to leave my faithful flashlight somewhere handy (I learned from the candles mistake you see) The headboard! Yes, that's handy!

In the meantime, Frodo (my 22 pound grey furball of fury) is very much enjoying himself. Catnip mice fly in graceful arcs across the living room. This is a good thing, he will sleep tonight. Besides, the TV isn't working and the UPS died so he's my only hope for entertainment.

Having satiated myself on cat antics, I decided it's time for bed. I crawl in, flick the light switch (it's habit) and curl up. Frodo jumps up, purs and kneeds my bladder for me.

This is where the hurting starts

See, Frodo has a spot he likes to call his own. The headboard. It was ritual for him to throw stuffed animals from the headboard to make room for himself. But not just anywhere, he always, always aims for the head.

POOF. Frodo, do you have to keep throwing Teddy on me?? POOF. Frodo, cut it out, I'm trying to sleep! WHAP!

I'm struck with the realization that a heavy steel flashlight, when applied with proper force (gravity in this case) can cause quite painful head injuries. "What the.." I begin to feel dizzy with pain. Frodo all the while is staring down at me from his perch, wondering what all the comotion is.

Needless to say, I could not sleep that night. Upon getting out of bed, I notice a large purple and red bump above my left brow. And that my left eye has turned dark and has begun to swell as well. Oh this is nice. I look like I've been in a bar fight, and lost! BADLY!

OK, he didn't kill me, but he TRIED HARD!

If this should ever happen to you, consider the following:

Do not tell your boss the truth about why you won't be in for two days! (By that point, my left eye had swollen shut completely, and my right eye was a little swollen.) Tell him you were struck by a car. An asteroid. Anything but a cat!

Likewise, do not tell the doctor how you contracted your head wound. It's not fun having your doctor laugh at you. Nor the cute nurses.

Cats are not jealous of, nor do they sleep on the heads of babies. They don't "smell milk on the baby's breath" and vampire-like, suck the life out of them. This is an Urban Legend, as disproved by a great many videos. What they do do is sleep beside babies, especially feverish ones, to keep them warm (some pack instinct, apparently, they'll do the same to adults and their own...). Apparently, what happened in a few cases was that the kid died on its own, and cat thinks...cold kid, I'll warm it...Mom goes "EEK! Must have been that CAT!"

FWIW, there is a charming legend of a barn cat named Avigal who sheltered the Christ Child....UPDATE!

And the following story from alt.pets.cats: Some unknown poster had a large Norwegian Forest Cat, white in color. Another member of her immediate household had recently given birth. With all customary joking, the offspring of B was put in a crib, without a net over her. A few hours pass. "Has anyone seen the cat?" A household search was in order, ending in, yes indeed, the crib, where the oversized feline had managed to curl himself into a position completely encircling the little tyke, who was, apparently, quite taken by the, as the poster put it "ultimate cat experience" of fur/warmth/purring/etc.

Wow!

Once upon a time Soren015 went to a boarding school, where he shared a room with a young man of exceptionally venomous temper.
While it rarely surfaced, my roommate's temper was terrible to behold. I saw him send men twice his size crashing to the floorboards, and I very narrowly avoided getting my own head kicked in, once. But the person he would fight with most of all was his older sister. They would scream and punch and wreck each others stuff, and be generally unpleasant, when the mood hit them. It was crazy, and a little awesome.
So one time, at a party I notice a big scar just above this older-sisters hairline, and a smaller one, near her right eye.

“How the hell did you get those? I never noticed before.”
“Eh, back when Mitch was twelve, he threw a stray cat at my face. Took 14 stitches in all”

Maybe not a kill... But proof that cats aren’t just dangerous in hand-to-paw combat. They make excellent thrown weapons.
I can haz fresh human blood?