Here were the words I was waiting for, without the part I wanted

Dear.

I think you will remember the lunch in the diner I didn't want to go to. I didn't tell you why. It wouldn't have made any sense. It had to do with all the mirrors inside and the sick blue lighting. That plus you looking at me was too much. I knew you wouldn't understand and I knew to shut up about it. That was the first day I knew I couldn't tell you things. You keep asking when the trouble started. Well that was the end.

You can keep my things. I don't want them more than you don't want them. The books you coveted - they're yours. You'll toss them out and feel vindicated. You left something at my house and I won't tell you what it is. You won't miss it for years. Try not to let it trouble you.

I think it was always an apology you were after. I know it was. Goodbye.

__________,
I'll skip the dear part- ok?
I feel a lot of things but vindicated doesn't make the list. I left a lot of things at your house, a left a lot of things unsaid--is this some stupid contest to see who can out forget what?

I cannot believe you would NOT do this in person. You who preached of honesty and directness- straight into my eyes, straight into my soul
nice sentiment- I guess you can save that for your career with Hallmark.

All of these words of yours, of mine, even, what are they worth now?

You used to accuse me of making paper fences and syllable walls- what's your excuse?

have some guts- come talk to me in person.

T.