How Would Jesus Drive?

In certain parts of the United States affectionately known as the Bible Belt, a metal "Jesus fish" pasted on the back of the car in front of you is a common sight. You might think that this is an indication of politeness on the road. Often, the driver is, in fact, a nice person and demonstrates it with his/her driving etiquette. However, this is not always the case, especially on the dog-eat-dog streets of Houston, Texas.

More often than not, it seems, the asshole who cuts me off in traffic or tailgates and honks at me for going only 10 miles over the speed limit or fails to use the turn signal when turning or changing lanes is proudly displaying his devotion to Christianity on his car in the form of the Jesus fish (or the even more tasteful symbol of the Jesus fish righteously feasting upon the flesh of the Darwin leg-fish). I find it very hard to believe that Jesus would have supported such behavior. And what kind of message does this send about Christian righteousness?

So if you do choose to publicly display your religion on your vehicle, know that you are representing your religion to the world by how you drive. And if Jesus were driving today, he would use his turn signal every time he changed lanes.

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The title for this node came from a bumper sticker.

Well, for what it's worth and what I've read, Jesus Would Walk, most likely. And for this supposition, I take a number of points to support this.

1) He always walked before. Walked across the dead sea, walked to Jerusalem, walked to Golgotha. Walk Walk Walk. Dude had a heck of a figure.

Everywhere is walking distance if you have the time.

2) Walking is a social activity, as is taking mass transit. J.C. was all about interaction and getting to know the 'hood. Meeting chicks at wells, shooting the breeze on some mount somewhere. He liked to talk to people. Cars close you off from other people, 'cuz it's hard to have a conversation with the guy in the Trans-Am next to you at 75mph. 'Course, he could carpool..

3) Ecology. If your dad built a house, would you walk around on the shag rug with muddy sneakers on? I'd hope not. And so the J Man probably takes the same opinion of the world. His creator built the place, and now he's gonna pollute the atmosphere all to.. the lower kingdom? Not likely. He's probably all about recycling, too.

This is not to say that Jesus doesn't own a car, he just doesn't drive it much. I've seen it, it's a bitchin' Jeep CJ with a lift. Nice.