How to catch a football

See also How to throw a football, How to kick a football

Since I dropped a football AGAIN today, I'm making this node for my own records and for the curious who want to know the proper way to catch an American football:

1. When the passer releases the football, lock your eyes on it and do not remove them until you have secured the ball.
2. Put both hands out from your body and spread your fingers wide.
3. Hold your hands parallel to each other in front of your body. Arrange them so that one hand will be below the ball and the other will be above and slightly behind the ball when it gets to you.
4. Run to the ball, or move to it so that it will hit you in the numbers (think of a football jersey if you don't understand this expression). If the pass is low, place your hands between the ground and the path of the ball.
5. When the ball arrives, close your hands around it and clasp it to your chest as you would a lover on your first night of passion: sweetly and softly but securely and authoritatively.
6. Tuck the ball into the crook of your arm.
7. Find the opponent's endzone.
8. Lay in a course.
9. Run like hell.
10. Stop looking at the ball.

Note the critical points here:

• You do NOT stop watching the ball until AFTER you have secured it.
• Always use two hands to catch the ball.
• Keep the ball from touching the ground at all costs.