Findings:

• The guy who may as well already be dead and therefore doesn't care about the consequences of his actions and is able to move with perfect freedom for the remainder of what will likely be a tragically short life
• How the Internet came to be: The Internet takes off
• As you graduate from college, you are the most conservative you will ever be
• The monsters of the past will be long forgotten by the time the general populace is ever forgiven
• How to tell when your dog just wants to be friends
• These are the only minutes you'll ever have. Take good care of them.
• When, if ever, will there be permanent peace in the Balkans?
• You couldn't fool your mother on the foolingest day of your life even if you had an electrified fooling machine!
• You couldn't save me back then. I will save you now. Trust me, take my hand.
• To be this good will take Sega ages
• My subconscious is much smarter than I will ever be
• if you take it too seriously i really will be just talking to myself
• This will be the hardest thing you ever do
• Will the Atomic Bomb Ever Be Perfected, and If So, What Becomes of Robert Heinlein?
• You'll be something special one day. And you -- you have to take care of your sister.
• I am a stranger. I come in peace. Take me to your leader, and there will be a massive reward for you in eternity.
• How to know if you will ever experience time travel
• How to take care of candles
• A mid-leap crisis will still be a crisis even if you manage to land on your feet.
• Even your mother will probably bite your tree hand when you destroy all gravity
• A dog that will bring you a bone will take a bone too
• Oh Shit. How can I take him home to Mother?
• You are looking for someone who does not want to be found. Even if you find them it will not be a success.
• I will ever be your combustive tablature of igneous geometries
• Maybe even this will one day be pleasant to recall
• But we should not be afraid. How else will we discover the answers?
• Her perception of how gorgeous she is will be evident in her lack of movement during sex
• If you take me home tonight I know that we will kiss, and one of us will fall in love and it will be a mess.
• Even the dead will not be safe
• How to be a Romantic Poet
• Accept this, and your next breath will be infinitely sweeter.
• Your first writeup will be nuked: Don't give up
• You will be assimilated
• These trains will be the death of me yet
• This wasn't how it was supposed to be
• Spiral, spin, ride the whirlwind, knowing when the drumming stops, there will be no second dance
• Those who are as a light in the darkness shall ever be troubled by moths
• How can a thinking, rational adult be a monotheist?
• I'm not even supposed to BE here today!
• Running toward the edge
• I will always be weird inside
• The revolution will not be televised
• It will be in Georgia. It will be Taipei.
• How to be happy for a certain period of time
• Wouldn't it suck to be God's mom and not even get laid in the deal?
• How complex can a public toilet be?
• If the field of AI had tried building footballers rather than chess players, how might it be different today?
• I wanna be your dog
• Oh, oh, you will be sorry for that word!
• The Revolution will be televised
• How the Internet came to be: On scaling
• Everything will be required of us, and everything will be given
• How to be a fuck-up
• how to be a friend
• Men And Women Will Never Be The Same
• Boys will be boys
• There will be time, there will be time, to prepare a face to meet the faces that you meet
• After today, for two people, the world will never be the same
• Don't be smart too, I couldn't stand it
• On the comet there will be much pie
• so that all her children will be adventurers in light
• Any fool with a dick can make a baby but it takes a real man to be a father
• A child who will clearly grow up to be as demented as me
• I am not wrong. I will not be mended.
• It will be a hot day and these two ice cubes. We will melt, become one.
• I will be in my trailer!
• How to be a terrible customer
• I will be the first thing you will be thinking about after you wake
• Maybe when we drown the fish will be our friends
• How to be a convincing teenage girl on IRC
• The next life will be better
• How can something be more beautiful than it is?
• How the Internet came to be: The birth of the Internet
• Who Will Survive, and What Will Be Left of Them?
• Cyclists : Be kind to pedestrians
• We couldn't be anywhere else but here
• Never give an order you know will not be obeyed
• You will know your action. You are present there, not thinking of somewhere else you ought to be.
• Can the Circle Be Unbroken?
• When will Linux be a good gaming platform?
• This will be of fine service for you, you bag of the scum
• We are aiming for the worst and it will not be that bad.
• How to be a jerk and piss off your SO
• False psychics in Florida will be charged with perjury
• How to Be a Charismatic Cult Leader
• How to disappear completely and never be found
• The Rock Revolution Will Not Be Televised
• Nothing new about Ancient Greece will be learned until the Vatican is plundered
• My mother is convinced I want to be a nudist
• Someday we will all be crude oil and diamonds
• How it feels to be interviewed (when you know the answers)
• How to be a troll
• Given that a and b are integers, a^2 = b^3, and a is even, prove that a must be divisible by 4
• Be cool in college
• How to be a Gangsta (in 5 simple steps)
• How to be a moron in any city but Baltimore
• How To Be Happy In A Sad, Sad World
• How to speak about women and be politically incorrect
• I assumed we would not even be friends
• In twenty years your favorite song will be playing in an elevator
• If I can just get Mike to the 24-hour Whipper-Snapper, I will be okay.
• How to be Exceptionally Friendly
• In the future, all turds will be perfectly round
• All I ever wanted to be
• Maybe someday I'll be an M&M the color of your eyes
• No One Here Is Ever Going to be President: Noders raise things in the city where things fall down
• Even simple things that you think are harmless can be dangerous. Like crayons. Like velvet.
• In case of rapture, this vehicle will be unmanned
• How to be a good evil villain
• How to be Happy, Dammit
• How to Be a Complete Bastard
• This Train Will Be Taking No Passengers
• Being a good lab partner and dealing with a bad lab partner
• Mother, did it need to be so high?
• How Can You Be in Two Places at Once When You're Not Anywhere at All?
• Marks which will never be broken
• How the Internet came to be: On use by other networks
• How the Internet came to be: The birth of the ARPANET
• How can vitality be achieved in figure painting?
• You will be advanced socially, without any special effort on your part
• What it takes to be a good programmer
• How the Internet Came to Be
• It Couldn't Be Done
• And there will be whores and rumors of whores
• When my boat comes in, you will be the first to board
• How to be invisible
• Don't be an ass at a restaurant
• I wish I knew how it would feel to be free
• Questions you will be asked when you study Chinese
• All That You Love Will Be Carried Away
• I couldn't possibly be the only one who doesn't see empathy as a curse
• How to be monstrously shallow
• How to be an improv musician
• The television will not be revolutionized
• Carl Everett
• Automobile tire pressure
• Thoughts on how religious proscriptions came to be
• There will be nobody there to shed a tear
• It couldn't be
• Will I cease to be
• How to be telekinetic
• There will be time
• How to be a backstabber
• How not to be a 15 year old JavaScript hack
• How precious can human life be? There are six billion people on the planet!
• How to tell whether a figure can be drawn in one stroke
• How to be an asshole
• And it's one more good thing that will never be again
• Will I be given that chance?
• How to be the first one off the line at a 4-way stop sign
• How to be anonymous
• How can something so incredibly beautiful be so incredibly wrong?
• If you tolerate this your children will be next
• This Will Be Laughing Week
• I fear I will be nothing
• Time travel, as I think of it, will never be invented
• Education is evil. Knowledge is evil. Be a moron. Forget how to spell.
• This must be the night when I remember how to fly, when the breeze catches my weight at last
• In the future everyone will be world-famous for fifteen minutes
• When we finally fall, it will be fast and sure
• How the Moon Came to Be
• How the Sun Came to Be
• How does it feel to be one of the beautiful people?
• How to approach a developer who may well be working and ask him a question
• I secretly admire Cruella De Vil. PETA will be kicking down my door any second.
• The end will be a sellout
• Why Deeahblita will never be late again
• Whatever you do will be insignificant, but it is very important that you do it
• You touched me when I needed to be touched, and for that I will hold you in my heart forever
• All scientific theories will eventually be disproved
• Goops and How to be Them
• Does it ever scare you to be you? Love, Mom
• How to be a polite smoker in a non-smoking world
• How to be a Jackass in your own home
• You will be wrong. Embrace it.
• In the future, hairstyles will be just like they are now
• How To Be Good
• We try to be friendly here. Those who are not friendly will be shot.
• It Will Always Be Here For You
• Who Will Be There
• When the log rolls over we will all be dead
• I will go. I shall go. I'll see where the end may be.
• World peace is a beautiful dream that will never be achieved by the human race
• Any function can be represented as the sum of an even function and an odd one
• I have always imagined that Paradise will be a kind of library
• If you tolerate this piss then your bitter will be next
• How to be a good motorcycle passenger
• Pay attention, this will be important later
• The strengths that opposed your will shall be obedient fire in your blood
• Oh sneff, will you be my cook, my thief, my wife, and my lover?
• Will warez and filesharing be the salvation of freedom?
• The revolution will not be webcast

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