Findings:

• I'm going to take five of those six exclamation points and drive them into the soft flesh under your fingernails
• I'm scared. I don't have a name.
• Friends don't let friends drive drunk
• Why don't urinals have stalls?
• Relax. Don't worry. Have a homebrew.
• I have a Shaymus and you don't.
• I'm probably the best lover I'll ever have
• I'm not going to simplify things just so they can fit inside your mind. You don't deserve that.
• Your beliefs are your concern, just please don't let them creep into our secular argument
• Jesus loves you so I don't have to
• You Think I'm Psycho Don't You Mama
• He tells me that I could have his heart and I want to take it right then, slip it into my pocket and run
• I'm white, upper-middle-class in the richest country in the world-what need have I for God?
• We don't have time for this. None of us have time for any of this.
• I have dreadlocks and I don't know where the pot is
• Being a dickhead
• Baptist fear of dancing
• If you don't play pinochle, you must have married in
• Books Hazelnut Read So You Don't Have To (category)
• You don't have any real problems
• I don't have a postmodern condition; I've always been like this
• Don't meddle in that which you have no desire to understand
• I'm with Suneeta this evening, last time before we get engaged
• A quiet evening's drive with a presumed drug dealer
• I don't have the time
• What I'm trying to say is that I may have unconsciously plagiarized this
• i have a lot of practice yelling into the void
• I'm going to have to ask you to leave
• you don't have to erase it, you just have to let it go
• Ernie and Bert are not gay. They're puppets. They don't even have legs.
• Baptist jokes
• I don't want to risk endangering the cheap, meaningless sex we have
• Things you don't want to hear (but will) when you get into bed with a girl
• I'm sorry, I don't think we've been properly introduced
• Don't hate me because I'm evil
• Don't rush me, I'm fragile
• And if I don't die or worse I'm going to need a nap
• The mighty have fallen, and I don't feel too good myself
• Thank god I don't have to make my living passing out bogus petitions
• don't walk into the sunshine OH NO fall over turn off.
• I am letting myself down so you don't have to
• A lot of houses don't even have anyone to board them up.
• Don't Sit Next to Me, Just Because I'm Gay
• If you don't know, I'm not going to tell you
• i am a seedling. i don't even understand how much i have yet to learn.
• You don't even know the meaning of the word committed. I'm Andy Kaufman, motherfucker. I will die on this hill I made, in this battle I started, for this prize I already own.
• By evening I will have returned all traces that I was ever here
• you don't have to eat your dinner but you pay for your plate
• Take it til you make it, break it if you have to, but don't ever fake it.
• Help! I'm going to have sex
• Having gotten myself into a position where I can have my cake and eat it too, I feel no compulsion to get up from the table
• I'm taking all I have to take, this taking's gonna shape me
• Do you imagine that his mind may have found its worldline, a track for it to fit into?
• I have morphed into the drab colors that surround me
• I'm sorry I was speeding, officer, but I really have to get to the hospital
• We don't have time. Not like they do.
• Don't Sit Next to Me Just Because I'm Asian
• Smite heathens or have a beer?
• Don't blow into someone's vagina
• If you don't have anything to say, don't say anything
• Don't assume that just because I'm gay, all I want is sex
• Dogs are for wimps who don't have the guts to bite people themselves
• Christians don't believe that "being good" gets anyone into Heaven
• Guys who don't tell you they have a girlfriend
• Stoned music memories
• A reason to drink
• Don't Just Ride Off into the Sunset
• I don't Daylog but I'm Daylogging
• I don't have a life; Everyone else wants to live my life for me
• Don't feel comfortable with girls? Have a daughter.
• Don't blame me, I'm from Massachusetts
• I'm related to people I don't relate to
• If I don't care, I don't have to hurt
• I'm sorry, I don't believe we've been properly estranged.
• or maybe a calm voice, that accent you don't think you have
• I don't have a soul. But something still hurts.
• Where I'm Calling From, A Grand Don't Come For Free
• I don't like your reality, I'm going to make my own
• No, I don't have channel 11
• You don't see the light at the end of the tunnel now, but it's there. I'm holding it for you.
• No, but I'll have a beer
• if you don't have anything nice to say, a rose still smells as sweet
• Consumers: don't buy into the hype
• Thoughts on a beer run into the Quarter on a Saturday night
• Don't Hug Me I'm Scared
• i always want to go back. but i don't know if it's time yet. i have some things i have to do.
• You don't even have a chance of being happy if you can't let shit go.
• You don't have to catch me. You don't need to bring me back.
• I'm not scared of dying, I just don't want to.
• I'm In Love With Massachusetts ( ... drive on by ... ) (document)
• How to turn a CD-ROM drive into a CD player
• you don't have to do this
• In the long purple evenings when rock n roll from WLAM blurred into night baseball from WCOU
• drive my car into the ocean
• We don't have what we need because we can't stop wanting
• "Of course humans aren't intelligent. They don't even have glurbleflukers. If you can't glurblefluke, you're not sentient."
• I'm not religious, but I think I have a close relationship with God
• If you pull out into an intersection have the balls to follow through
• Having gotten myself into a position where I can have my cake and eat it too, I feel a strong compulsion to get up from the table
• I have failed to integrate the machine experience into my life
• I have built me a bean-stalk into your sky!
• Walking into class, only to realize that you have no pants
• How many a dispute could have been deflated into a single paragraph if the disputants had dared to define their terms.
• People who have stared into the abyss know each other.
• and when all the stars have fallen one last time and the skies are crumbling into my hands and the sirens are bleeding out on the beaches and the earth fades; you will remain
• i'm afraid i will have to request that no one have the name "john" ever again. Existing "johns" will need to change their names.
• I would've taken an axe to it, but I'm pretty sure the dryad would have pulverized me
• Have you let Emacs into your heart?
• I'm happy but you don't like me
• Don't get me wrong; I'm not a feminist
• I don't have a television set
• We read your mail so you don't have to
• Don't get me wrong - I'm a feminist
• Don't miss me until I'm dead
• Do not have sex with horses. Seriously, don't.
• I don't have a problem with Biblical Literalism, it's Christians I can't stand
• Don't touch me when I'm screaming
• You don't always have to disagree, or agree for that matter
• I don't have a problem with Christians, it's Biblical Literalism I can't stand
• Don't piss into the wind unless you want to get wet
• I don't have a thing to wear!
• Cats don't have brakes
• I just don't need help losing things; I'm good enough at that on my own
• Archived E2 FAQ: Why Don't I Have Votes Today? (document)
• I'm angry, and tired, and sad, and I just don't want to deal with it right now, so fuck off
• I don't have any secrets. Now ask me if I have any lies.
• I have a punklin and you don't
• And that's why we don't have sex in the nose
• I don't think I realized what I had gotten myself into, but it seemed like the potential for fun and insanity were there in equal parts
• So you don't have to
• You don't have to be a vegetarian to like vegetarian food
• those who don't fit into the herd are always recognized
• When you have a trip planned, but don't go, you need to cancel your reservations
• Don't assume that just because I'm promiscuous, all I want is sex
• 2001: Why don't we have HAL?
• Don't slip into depression
• I'm insensitive, and I don't know anything
• I'm a crack whore, and I don't care
• I Don't Need to Have Children, I Date Them
• Don't touch me when I'm on a boat
• You make yourself lonely even though you don't have to
• You don't know what you have until it's gone
• You don't have to remember my name
• I'm going to do something stupid if I don't get laid
• I don't shiver because I'm cold. I shiver because you are.
• Dogs don't have souls, so it doesn't matter
• Why don't I have votes today?
• if you don't stop laughing I'm going to pour Mountain Dew on your bed
• E2 FAQ: Why Don't I Have Votes Today? (node_forward)
• Badgers? We ain't got no badgers. We don't need no badgers. I don't have to show you any stinking badgers!
• Don't be an IM phantom
• Don't make me angry, you wouldn't like me when I'm angry
• Living well is only the best revenge if they don't have a fuckable sibling
• I don't need to read, I'm a writer
• WE DON'T HAVE STARBUCKS ASSHOLE
• Don't go into the basement
• finding my way back to sanity again, though I don't really know what I'm going to do when I get there
• Someone has writer's block but I don't know if I'm him right now
• You don't really drink beer in cans, do you?
• i call my phone and i check my messages, but i don't have any messages
• I know I'm not very good at this. I don't want to be better.
• You Don't Have To Say You Love Me
• That man has writer's block but I don't know if I'm him right now
• Don't ever lie. If you lie to your friends, they won't trust you, and you'll have nothing, and you'll never be safe.
• Reason #57 Why I Don't Have Children
• I don't even have the energy to kill myself
• The smell of kittens that have been careless; the flowers and the beer cans emerging from the snow.
• In this moment I'm focused on my own emotions. I don't care about how you feel. I can't.
• My soul is in a million pieces. I tried to collect most of them, but some are missing, and the ones I have don't fit together anymore. Feel free to take a piece or two.
• My finger can point to the moon, but my finger is not the moon. You don't have to become my finger, nor do you have to worship my finger. You have to forget my finger, and look at where it is pointing.
• If you don't know how to make a mu, you have no business measuring quantities that small.
• You haven't seen it and you don't understand. I have malice. I have cruelty. The little fire that's always been inside me isn't so little anymore.
• The ones with their priorities straight don't know how to get what they want, and the ones who get what they want have messed up priorities.
• If they can get you asking the wrong questions, they don't have to worry about answers.
• Songs Hazelnut Listened To So You Don't Have To
• E2 drank my beer, and I don't think it's fair

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