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Sure his legions of faceless minions were amazingly poor marksmen, his advisors were inept, his mad scientists treacherous and his mountain fortress was something less than impregnable, but darn it, he brought style to World Conquest. Before the Evil Overlord took me under his proverbial wing, I never knew precisely how much panache it took to be a truly proper villain.

I never knew how important wardrobe was to wickedness before I joined forced with the Evil Overlord. I used to blunder along dreaming of mischief and mayhem while wearing ready-to-wear outfits from the Gap and Old Navy, but I soon learned that while off-the-rack may work for such everyday villains as Bill Gates and Martha Stewart, a true Supervillain must dress to impress. After picking up the de rigueur cape and riding boots, I experimented with a variety of accessories, including; epaulets, masks, cowls, iron gauntlets and techno-organic bodysuits before settling on a look that said, "Quake with fear, you tiny fools!". After a few helpful hints from my Evil Overlord mentor about facial hair, (goatees and mustaches are an excellent sinister accessory) I was ready to take over the world in sartorial splendor.

However, clothes do not solely make the man. Another thing I had to learn was the proper attitude. Before I had attempted to conquer Earth out of mere Greed and Power madness, but thanks to the Evil Overlord, I learned that I was far superior to the pewling mass of humanity crawling on the face of the planet and that it was my Divine Right to rule over them. I also learned not to be dismayed when my adversaries discover that I was behind the dastardly plot they're attempting to foil, after all I should have been an immediate suspect. When confronted by self-styled heroes and their accusations, no longer will I say, "Drat. You got me". No, I will gloat and crow loudly, "Who but I, Evil Catullus, could construct a plan of such cunning and intricacy? Why, there is more genius in the tiniest aspect of my masterplan than is in your entire addlepated assemblage!"

Thanks to my association with the Evil Overlord, I was ready to implement my Machiavellian schemes of conquest in a way that would make the world stand up and take notice. And I was secure in the knowledge that even if my plot was foiled, though those fools would assume victory it would only be a temporary setback and the world has not yet seen the last of me!

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