Findings:

• He had fallen in love, but I'm pretty sure the hellhound was only in it for the belly rubs
• I'm sorry I was speeding, officer, but I really have to get to the hospital
• Noding for Numbers sure was silly, but it sure is better than Dada Fascism
• Jessica, too tall but still lovely, was not sure she would or should drop the whale
• I was pretty sure that wasn't how slasher films were supposed to end, but you won't see me complaining.
• Somebody told me a story. It was pretty but boring. It was Saturday night, my stories usually end up that way.
• He was born with the gift of logic but the inability to use it
• Seriously, though, who the hell did I think I was going to become?
• I was sure it was her
• I used to think of sobriety as a purgatory, and that to be under the influence of drugs was relief from it. Now that I'm older I believe the opposite to be true.
• It wasn't so much a trip down memory lane as it was me carjacking someone's memorymobile and speeding off down the freeway, but I digress.
• one was giving me the eye but nothing came of it
• The real horror was not what had been redacted, but the reasons why.
• I was so much older then, I'm younger than that now
• I was watching through the window, you were going through the dances.
• Boy, I was sure lucky to be born into the one true faith!
• I learned never to empty the well of my writing, but always to stop when there was still something there in the deep part of the well, and let it refill at night from the springs that fed it.
• the desert was once alive, but I don't remember it
• /but what was the question?
• The Box Said 'Do NOT Open" But The Seal Was Already Broken
• I was in heaven, I was in hell. Believed in niether but feared them as well.
• I would've taken an axe to it, but I'm pretty sure the dryad would have pulverized me
• He stretched out his arms but she was not there
• When I was five years old, I knew I was going to die
• I'm glad the evil overlord was on my team
• what I thought was going to be a turtleneck turned out to be a dickey
• what i'm trying to show you is something that i was shown
• How Gudrun cast herself into the Sea, but was brought ashore again
• Once upon a time there was an ocean but now there is a mountain range.
• There was silence in my heart, but you found a way to break it.
• I'm not a geek, and I wish I were
• The Firestone dealership was full to the brim with cars. But I reasoned I would need a boat, since my desire was to go to Ireland. Just then a harsh reminder surfaced; water is expensive in hell.
• It was hormones, it was hormones, but it was valid
• I can never be sure if it was real or just another illusion
• I was shaking, but not from the cold
• I didn't have the heart to tell him I was lying about taco night, but at least the hellhound made some friends
• I'm wishing Jesus was here again
• i thought i was special, but it was you
• I'm the only person who'd ever told him to his face he was beautiful.
• This was not my going away party
• I died for Beauty -- but was scarce
• They wrote it all in perl but it was mostly system calls
• The Saudis were terrified that someone was going to be a better Muslim than they were
• She was coming out as he was going in.
• 2016 was bad enough. Is it only going to get worse?
• Making sure your ballot was counted in a United States Election
• I was once smaller than a jellybean, but now look at me - I am macroscopic!
• I am sorry but when you were talking I was admiring the shape of your lips and evaluating their kissability
• Oh, no. Look, you've gone and made me optimistic. I was before, but now it is showing.
• The sky rained tears. I was sure.
• for a long time i was afraid i would forget; now i'm afraid i might not
• Seems I might have stolen the blue part of her rainbow, but all I really did was make it bigger, a way bigger blue
• The gun is good. The penis is evil. The penis shoots seeds, and makes new life, and poisons the earth with a plague of men, as once it was. But the gun shoots death, and purifies the earth of the filth of brutals. Go forth and kill!
• I bought an orange, but it was a grapefruit
• more sure of all I thought was true
• I'm not going to fire a 2 million dollar missile at a 10 dollar empty tent and hit a camel in the butt
• btw, I was raised on Twinkies, I'm certain it made a lasting effect
• strange and too short but I was lonely
• I was burned and bleeding, but the galaxy still spun on
• The Marlboro Man died of cancer, but he wasn't a rocket scientist when he was healthy, ha ha ha.
• You're voting this sucka down now, but I'm going to laugh
• The flowers smiled, but she was gone
• I'm starting to think I was a waste of a perfectly good placenta
• I'm gay, but I'm not sure it's genetic
• The virgin was looking apprehensive about the whole ordeal, but for the right amount of cash anyone will take on a horse
• i'm not sure but i'm listening
• The serpent was in the garden again, but there weren't any apples left in the tree, so I figured things were cool.
• I don't know what he was listening for, but he wasn't listening
• but you had his eyes and that was sort of almost enough
• There was a lot of blood, but the boys needed it
• Once upon a time there was light in my life, but now there's only love in the dark
• we went to the stars, but all we found was ourselves
• but fuck, it was Sunday and the church bells hadn't even called the faithful
• I thought he was a man but he was just a little boy
• the fire burned and burned; it was so great and now so much time has passed and the fire is still burning, but it requires attendance
• I was going to marry Marty
• It was a dream. But it wasn't a dream.
• She didn't write like Emily Dickinson, but she did live in a house overlooking a cemetery, and I guess he thought that was important.
• I'm Rudy Giuliani! I was mayor of New York on 9/11! I Should Be The President!
• It all turned out all right but there was so much pain along the way
• As I Was Going to St Ives
• I'm sorry, I didn't realize God was on campus today
• I'm going to miss the squirrels
• if you don't stop laughing I'm going to pour Mountain Dew on your bed
• I'm going to the moon
• They think I'm crazy, but I know it's real
• Someone has writer's block but I don't know if I'm him right now
• I'm at the station, but I can't get on the train
• I'm going to Disneyland
• It is safe to say that I'm going to get my payback if he is anything like me.
• middle of summer how crazy it was
• i might look like a grown person, but i'm just a tiny confused scientist
• oh God, i'm going to regret this one
• I'm Going Straight to Heaven
• I'm Going to Go Back There Someday
• when i get my shit together i'm going to rule this town
• Marvellous, I'm probably going to be eaten by a wild boar
• I'm going to kill you
• I'm sorry sir, but it appears that the abyss hasn't put you on the guest list...
• I'm so goddamned cruel to you. But you'll never know
• That man has writer's block but I don't know if I'm him right now
• I'm going to do something stupid if I don't get laid
• I'm no fucking Buddhist, but this is Enlightenment.
• I may not know anything but I know I'm not American
• One day, I'm going to get rid of it all
• Stay there. I'm going to get my gun.
• This is the last letter I'm going to not send you
• The world is bleak and horrible and depressing, so I'm going to set it on fire and laugh
• this is how i'm going to die.
• It did not get nicer, but it sure got a hell of a lot more honest
• I'm cold, but I'm happy
• I Think I'm a Pervert, But I'm Totally Over It
• It’s memories that I’m stealing, but you’re innocent when you dream
• The body's alive, but no head. I'm having a lot of trouble accepting it.
• You beat it in me, that part of you/But I'm gonna split us back in two
• I'm not really okay with being hated for what I am. It's hard to take. But it's still better than being loved for something I'm not.
• I'm not anorexic, but I'm working on it
• I'm happy but you don't like me
• Japanese puns that are not funny but at least are puns
• I'm looking at the river, but I'm thinking of the sea
• the struggle continues, but at least i know i'm not alone
• You're laughing now, but I'm voting this sucka down
• How can I talk about love when the bacon is burned and the house is an absolute mess and the children are screaming their heads off and I'm going to miss my bus?
• I'm mad as hell and I'm not going to take it anymore
• I don't like your reality, I'm going to make my own
• You may think I'm lying, but it's true
• Someday soon, I'm going to save you from your life
• Screw UNIX, I'm just going to smoke pot and eat Cheetos for the rest of my life
• Help! I'm going to have sex
• I'm going to take five of those six exclamation points and drive them into the soft flesh under your fingernails
• I'm going to run out of hints to drop
• I'm Not Going to Lie to You
• I enjoy slacking. Does that mean I'm going to Hell?
• I'm going to love you like the undead woe their graves, crave the living.
• Sexist jokes
• I'm going to paint a number 7.
• finding my way back to sanity again, though I don't really know what I'm going to do when I get there
• HI, I'M GEORGE ZIMMER, OWNER AND CEO OF THE MEN'S WAREHOUSE. YOU'LL NEVER GUESS WHAT I'M GOING TO DO.
• Fuck you I'm going to write poetry about your city
• I'm going to assume you know why that's stupid and move on
• And if I don't die or worse I'm going to need a nap
• I'm going to have to ask you to leave
• I don't Daylog but I'm Daylogging
• not running from, but going to
• I'm poor, but I'm happy
• Maybe I'm naive but this type of website bugs me
• I'm straight, but you might be the one
• Ain't nothing going on but the rent
• On two concert, I'm shootive collective photo but small, fat, bald headed technologist be insane
• Yeah I can love my fellow man; but I'm damned if I'll love yours.
• I'm nothing but a flower falling off a winter stem
• I might not believe in God, but I sure as hell believe in the power of prayer
• untie the boat and turn on the water i'm gone i'm gone i'm gone but it's alright
• You're not laughing now, but I'm voting this sucka up
• Santa's festive fear mongering wasn't going as well as he'd hoped, but the other Santa and I were enjoying the gingerbread.
• I'm not a rocket scientist, but
• You don't see the light at the end of the tunnel now, but it's there. I'm holding it for you.
• excuse the pencil but I'm inkless
• Ain't what I'm gonna be, ain't what I wanna be, but lord thank you I ain't what I used to be.
• I'm not sick but I'm not well
• I'm beginning to think that nothing I think or say makes sense to anyone but me
• one kiss: bad for me, but i give in so easily. i'm weak.
• I keep thinking I'm so tough but I rarely care enough to prove it. So am I really tough then? Or does every dog just have its day?
• There's a sign on the wall. But she wants to be sure. Cause you know sometimes words have two meanings.
• But I'm a good person! Yeah great you wanna help me with this or what?
• You can say the train isn't real but it's still going to sting like a son of a b
• I'm sparkin like a match that's never going out
• From now on, any ordinary knowledge is no longer going to satisfy you, I'm afraid
• I'm going to be a programmer!
• I'm Going Home
• When the aliens attack my workplace, I'm going to be so damn READY
• I'm Going Crazy
• If you don't know, I'm not going to tell you

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