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They said this should do the trick, accepting it. I'm not sure. I know I'm supposed to let it slide, that's all I'm ever telling myself, go with the flow, roll with the punches, take it as it comes. And I try, I do try. I'm just not sure it's hurting less now.

Time has a way of making it go away, they say. After a while it won't seem as wrong, or as painful, or as strong. I'm still not sure if it makes sense, but how can I say? I guess I haven't accepted it, my mind is still full of likely and surely and that's not how it is.

That's just denial, that's just desperate self-deception, they say. Still. Hush. Stop. I think I like the pain too much to give it up. I think the pain is keeping me here. I think the pain is the pull, because it helps me know I'm alive, even though somewhere else (everywhere else) I'm numb.

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