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High school level geometry is the most boring class in the world when you read the book and learned it on your own in the sixth grade. That meant that I spent most of my time there reading books, and in retrospect, this whole story may never have happened had I not forgotten something to read that day.

It was DARE week, or some such nonsense. I'd long since learned to keep my mouth shut during those things. Let's just say the DARE officers will only put up with being corrected so many times before they start to get really irritated. Since it was the first day of the program, the teacher was passing out the ribbons that we'd be wearing all week.

I've
got
better
things
to do
than
drugs

I glanced at it in disdain. See, I don't have a problem with drug education, but I'm pretty short on tolerance for drug indoctrination. I'd like to see more education and less stupid slogans some time in the future, but I don't get my hopes up. I took the ribbon, and twisted it around for a while, folding it up in my hands just to relieve the boredom a bit as class went on. Sometime near the end of the period, I finally folded the ribbon just how I wanted it, and pinned it proudly to my shirt.

I've
got
drugs

I left it on my shirt for the next three class periods without incident. Since everyone had ribbons on, no one was paying attention. Right before lunch, there was a big rally in the gym where we'd all go get all hyped up about not doing drugs or something. I got there and met up with my little brother. Now, you should know. I'm a little subversive, but Matt is a full-fledged fuckup. I'm usually pretty harmless, but once you get the two of us in on something, it usually turns into trouble.

He looked at the ribbon on my shirt, snickered, and within seconds, had folded his ribbon to make his own version.

I've
got
better
drugs

We walked around talking to people, trying our best to act like the perfect DARE kids. Now that it was both of us, people started to notice. Word of our parody spread quickly, and soon the entire section of our bleachers was in hysterics. Everyone laughed about it, right until the principal found out. He didn't laugh so much. Come to think of it, he didn't laugh at all. Actually, he dragged us both out of the auditorium by the arm, searched our backpacks, and gave us ISS for three days. It was totally worth it though.


I later found out that my older brother shredded his ribbon into a pile of tiny threads, and then set it on fire. On his desk. In the middle of chemistry class. We really aren't very cooperative with these types of things.

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