My
best friend has been a
victim of constant sexual abuse throughout her life. I've known her for three years, and even in that short a period of time, she has been
raped, and by her
husband during a seperation leading to a
divorce. I'm noding this because it hurts me to know what I do, and I'd like to just let it out of me.
When she was a young girl, she was sexually assualted by her neighbour and her cousins. She was coerced into doing what her neighbour wanted because he threatened to kill her parents. This neighbour was a pedophile, and if I could, I would kill him. Speaking of death, his death caused more problems than his life. His death forced my friend into a depression, because my friend's first reaction was to be happy. To be happy about death is morally wrong, and she hated herself for it.
In junior high school, she became a target for a bully and his friends. Beyond simple rape, she was psychologically destroyed. She was even forced to write 'Melissa is a slut' on a bathroom wall, in her own blood. (No, Melissa is not her real name.) She's told me about how she could sit in a class and accept his abuse in front of everyone without even an increase in the tempo of her breath, because to have any such reaction would cause him to lash out. Everyone in her school knew about this abuse. Why couldn't I have been there to stop it? I hate that I couldn't be there.
When she got into college she finally got into a good relationship. She had a child, and shortly after got married. It was around her wedding time that the problems started. Her own parents were not invited to her wedding. Which, incidently, had to take place on the side of a road just over the county line, due to a technical mix up. Ever since the beginning, she has not trusted him with her daughter. And for good reason, since he has been abusive to both of them. Recently they were seperated, and then divorced. During their seperation, he raped her. It was like a date rape, only she didn't trust him at all. She came to me crying, demanding that she needed a shower to clean the feeling off, but that she couldn't leave me. And satisfying both was not possible.
Every part of her lifelong sexual abuse has hurt me. But I vow I will not let her be hurt again.