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Sung to the tune of 'I am the Very Model of a Modern Major-General' by Gilbert & Sullivan

WEMH:

I am the very model of a whiny emo MySpace whore
I've new comments, new friend requests and pictures of my hair galore
(Which both in composition, and in style is quite angular
And obscures one or sometimes two, of my organs ocular)

I'm very well acquainted, too, with many bands craptacular
Though their spamming of my inbox is something quite spectacular
A thousand friends I've never met, all Narcissistic by a rule,
But I must make it clear that I hate drama and fake ppl!

ALL:

Oh he must make it clear that he hates drama and fake ppl!
Oh he must make it clear that he hates drama and fake ppl!
Oh he must make it clear that he hates drama and fake ppl!

WEMH:

To get a spot in my top eight is tough as the Erymanthian boar
It's less a case of MySpace Tom and more the likes of Jefree Star
With new comments, new friend requests and pictures of my hair galore
I am the very model of a whiny emo myspace whore

ALL:

With new comments, new friend requests and pictures of his hair galore
He is the very model of a whiny emo myspace whore

WEMH:

I have so many fav'rite bands, from pop punk to the postpostcore
I havent heard their music, but it does impress my friends for sure
You see I simply have to have a larger list of bands than you
I can't just like My Chem Rom, Green Day and Blink 182

No, I must include Funeral for a Friend, Panic! at the Disco,
Fightstar H.I.M Jimmy Eat World and the Count of Monte Cristo,
Straylight Run Fall Out Boy Feeder Offspring Dashboard Confessional
Tear Abyss, Biscuit Spunk and P.O.O, amongst my intrests lyrical

ALL:

Tear Abyss Biscuit Spunk and P.O.O, amongst his intrests lyrical
Tear Abyss Biscuit Spunk and P.O.O, amongst his intrests lyrical
Tear Abyss Biscuit Spunk and P.O.O, amongst his intrests lyrical

WEMH:

My page has been well customised with html Byzantine
It takes three hours to load it up and read my blog posts asinine
With new comments, new friend requests and pictures of my hair galore
I am the very model of a whiny emo myspace whore

ALL:

With new comments, new friend requests and pictures of his hair galore
He is the very model of a whiny emo myspace whore

WEMH:

In fact, when my font is black on black, point 2 and illegible
When Ive customised my background to something emocredible
When I post angsty poetry best described as modernist
As it ignores any considerations of metre, rhyme, or linguistic beauty;

When I repost every mindless bulletin that comes by me,
When I waste precious bandwith with my drivel and vacuity
In short, when I've cut my wrists because I feel that I've got no-one
I'll be a whiny myspace whore who has a lot more friends than Tom

ALL:

He'll be a whiny myspace whore who has a lot more friends than Tom
He'll be a whiny myspace whore who has a lot more friends than Tom
He'll be a whiny myspace whore who has a lot more friends than Tom

WEMH:

Though I still have ahead of me, an arduous and long journey
I will toil day and night and friendwhore the world unceasingly
With new comments, new friend requests and pictures of my hair galore
'Til I am the very model of a whiny emo myspace whore

ALL:

With new comments, new friend requests and pictures of his hair galore
He is the very model of a whiny emo myspace whore!

Notes:
1 - The ocular organs are more commonly known as the eyes.
2 - The Erymanthian boar was one of the twelve labours of Hercules, ie a 'Herculean task'.
3 - The Byzantine Empire was the remnant of the Eastern Roman Empire. Its government was such a needlessly complex system that 'Byzantine' has come to mean 'convoluted' or 'tortuous'. MySpacers have a tendency to copy and paste incompatible segments of html into their edit boxes, without understanding how html works, and create warped code when they try to do too many things without really understanding what they're doing.
4 - Tom is the founder of MySpace, who appears as the number one friend of all new users. Having Tom on your top 8 is therefore a sign of noobishness. Jefree Star is a transexual singer/songwriter/model and popular MySpace 'celebrity'.
5 - 'Postpostcore' is not a real music genre. The Count of Monte Cristo is not a band, and Tear Abyss, Buscuit Spunk and P.O.O are not real.

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