Findings:

• I'm sorry I was speeding, officer, but I really have to get to the hospital
• I can't remember when I fell but I love it down here
• I can slaughter my way through Hell, but I can't kill these feelings for you
• That icky feeling when a client calls with a downed server and you have no clue how to fix it
• Can't speed up, can't slow down - all we can do is follow these damn dogs
• When you can almost recognize her face, but you can't remember her name
• It’s memories that I’m stealing, but you’re innocent when you dream
• You can run, but you can't hide
• My finger can point to the moon, but my finger is not the moon. You don't have to become my finger, nor do you have to worship my finger. You have to forget my finger, and look at where it is pointing.
• Nobody Knows You When You're Down and Out
• When water chokes you
• Sex starts when you're standing up
• I can't get published, but this crap can
• you can lower your standards, or your pants, but you can't make them love you
• Once and somewhere far away I might have found peace, but now I can't live without this city.
• You're not laughing now, but I'm voting this sucka up
• Can God create a boulder so large He can't have anal sex with it?
• I can get away with murder, but I can't get you out of my head
• I know you're up there. I am but a discontented symbol birthed from the blood of your terrible pen.
• when i wake up i can't remember what it was. it's so hard to smuggle something out of a dream.
• I get knocked down, but I get up again
• You knew I was a rattlesnake when you picked me up
• You can't rant when you're not angry
• You're voting this sucka down now, but I'm going to laugh
• we can give up, but the world never will
• When will you humans learn that your "feelings" (as you so call them) can stand in the way of big cash payoffs?
• Necromancers really lift your spirits, but the dead can bring you down
• I cannot produce a definitive list of everywhere I have been, but I can say that I have seen a whole lot of nowhere
• you can use a lot of words and ideas to try to hide it, but you're always making a choice between love and hate
• See a penny, pick it up and all day long you'll have good luck
• Why beverage cans have concave bottoms
• I write you, when I can't have you near me.
• I may have cellulite, but I can still put my ankles behind my head
• There's a fine line between feeling a will to live and feeling a fear of death. Sometimes they can both lead you down the same path.
• When you wake up feeling old
• When you're supposed to go down, find the deepest well and go down to the bottom
• Mixed drinks you come up with when you're drunk
• like you're blind but still can see
• You're laughing now, but I'm voting this sucka down
• The guy who can't even pick up guys
• I can lie to the face of the devil himself, but I can't fool you.
• you can touch the sun but you can't take it with you
• I can burn the hearts of the damned, but I can't stop the burning I feel for you
• you can give up, but there will always be those who do not
• Don't stop. You can sleep when you're dead.
• Why mirrors reverse left and right, but not up and down
• You need a license to have a dog, but any idiot can have a child
• This is immensely rewarding when successful, but can be an extremely intensive and difficult thing to develop and practice
• Can you clean up you're grammar please?
• You can bear arms, but you can't bare breasts
• I have to get up early and do laundry so I can wear something nice to the weirdo sex club
• I can only pray that, when I finally leave, I will have done little enough damage to be totally forgotten
• I pick up countries and scatter them down
• When you have a trip planned, but don't go, you need to cancel your reservations
• when you're done, you can let her die if that's what you want. Or you can wake her.
• "Of course humans aren't intelligent. They don't even have glurbleflukers. If you can't glurblefluke, you're not sentient."
• Feeling like you're moving when you're really sitting still
• How to tell when you have really messed up your relationship
• I can't stand up for falling down
• When I woke up this morning, I thought I was a parallelogram. I still have a sneaking suspicion.
• Carl Sagan threw down the gauntlet and Tyson picked it up and put it on.
• You can take the mall out of the ghetto, but you can't take the ghetto out of the mall
• Cheers, my lips have frozen but hemlock goes down easy
• You wake up slowly when you're a mile underground
• I will have her forever but I can't touch her
• Every morning when I wake up, I feel guilty for all the things I have ever been
• Who needs love when you can have death?
• Money can't buy happiness but the lack of it can cause a lot of misery
• when I am King, we will have no such things, but, my lads, if the old king my father were dead, we would be all kings.
• New York I Love You, But You're Bringing Me Down
• Having gotten myself into a position where I can have my cake and eat it too, I feel no compulsion to get up from the table
• that moment of panic when you flush the toilet but nothing goes down
• How Can You Be in Two Places at Once When You're Not Anywhere at All?
• you can't change the world, but you can change the facts
• Having gotten myself into a position where I can have my cake and eat it too, I feel a strong compulsion to get up from the table
• i can't fit it all in but by god, i will keep trying
• I'd tell you but then I'd have to kill you
• Yeah I can love my fellow man; but I'm damned if I'll love yours.
• Guilt is a hard thing to bury but it’s a really easy thing to dig up
• every horse can be tamed by someone. but they don't always live at the same time.
• When you get to the top, I know what it'll seem like. But there IS someone there. There IS someone there.
• If someone punches you out of hatred, they're definitely a villain. But that doesn't mean that you're a hero.
• Seems I might have stolen the blue part of her rainbow, but all I really did was make it bigger, a way bigger blue
• I don't believe in God or the soul but these machines can make me cry
• but the only power i truly have is the strength to let it go
• But can a robot love.
• Don't be a smartass and offer up a contrived solution that *technically* solves the puzzle but goes against its spirit
• you don't have to eat your dinner but you pay for your plate
• some people touch it, but they can't hold on
• it's like something big is happening right in front of us but we can't see it
• But life is hard when the written word is your first language
• We have nothing to fear but fear itself
• I don't know if these are good flowers or bad flowers, but I picked them for you
• The Marlboro Man died of cancer, but he wasn't a rocket scientist when he was healthy, ha ha ha.
• I would've suggested just shooting Cupid down, but Faust would’ve objected, so we stuck with the net
• But can you imagine what that would do to all those juggaloes?
• You can put your boots in the oven, but that don't make them biscuits.
• You can complain about athlete salaries all you want, but my voicemail is still empty.
• before the internet when teen had REAL relationship the boy could look at the girl and judge the diameter of her thorax with his feelers and determine whether the mating ritual could commence but NO MORE. evil woman use her computer sorcery
• beauty is invented, but it is also personified, and I know this because I have met her
• My soul is in a million pieces. I tried to collect most of them, but some are missing, and the ones I have don't fit together anymore. Feel free to take a piece or two.
• I keep thinking I'm so tough but I rarely care enough to prove it. So am I really tough then? Or does every dog just have its day?
• What can a reed do but sway about and love?
• don't just wait for it, but you can only wait for it
• You can teach people truth, but it's harder to teach them to cope with truth.
• I'll be happier when the rain stops. But I know I'd be miserable if it never rained again.
• Things people put up their butts
• we have the most gigabytes of infodata but we still shoot each other on the streets
• The eyes of the dead may not blink, but they have been known to wander
• I suppose I could have married a World Cup soccer player, but I didn't
• It's like this train. It can't run anywhere but where its rails take it.
• Somebody told me a story. It was pretty but boring. It was Saturday night, my stories usually end up that way.
• Commit it then to the flames: For it can contain nothing but sophistry and illusion
• I don't have a soul. But something still hurts.
• you laugh and then you cry but you're still laughing but you miss her so damn much
• Life must be lived forward, but it can only be appreciated sideways
• you can close your eyes but not your ears
• The FOOLS! They laughed at my theories at the university, but I'll have my revenge! I'll have my REVENGE!
• but the worm ended up killing them too
• But you can't take the Jungle out of the Tiger
• i remember reading this but i can't remember if i liked it or not
• Poetry you found that you wrote when you were ten but secretly still like
• You wouldn't know it, but I think you're achingly beautiful
• Can't imagine why, but I feel like dancing
• Life is not always fair, but you can be
• I have a most elegant proof of that, but this node is too small to contain it
• Sororities are nothing but social crutches
• They call you heartless, but you have a heart, and I love you for being ashamed to show it. You are ashamed of your flood, while others are ashamed of their ebb.
• The prophecy is made up, but it's also true.
• We All Get Old, But We Never Grow Up
• Cemeteries are boring, but I can't seem to stay away from this one in particular.
• Redemption is very much like vengeance. Redemption has more valor, and is more satisfying if you obtain it. But if you chase it blindly you can waste yourself completely.
• but with words we can create anything
• but we turn everything we touch to shit; we just can't let beauty stand
• Take it til you make it, break it if you have to, but don't ever fake it.
• I got your back but you're best to watch your front
• i always want to go back. but i don't know if it's time yet. i have some things i have to do.
• Figures don't lie, but liars can figure
• no island, but you're not a big happy archipelago either
• No, but I'll have a beer
• you have changed but the memory stayed the same
• Reality can't be whatever I want it to be, but maybe it's not so clear-cut, you know?
• There's a sign on the wall. But she wants to be sure. Cause you know sometimes words have two meanings.
• You might be on a diet but you can still look at the menu
• I may not have had enough of me but I've had enough of you
• we're all here to die. but if you think that's all it is, you still have the bag on your head.
• Dreams Can Be Cryptic, Dreams Can Obfuscate, But Dreams Do Not Lie
• You can check out any time you like, but you can never leave.
• It is not instruction, but provocation, that I can receive from another soul.
• Mr. Potato Head Sprouted. He got moldy. Now he's all dried up, but he's still up in the cabinet.
• I've lost my memory but I have ink, so.
• He comforted me when he thought I needed it, but never when I really did
• the water can kill you, but the beer won’t
• But alas, I have no badger to offer you
• I'm at the station, but I can't get on the train
• Actually, I went to bed this morning, sometime, but we can gloss over that.
• I'd love to stay and let you break my heart, but I have laundry to do
• But can you still cry like a child?
• Pirates and ninjas: why they should be friends but can't be
• I know it's stealing, but sometimes someone else can say it better than you ever can.
• Can I play with your breasts? Yes, but don't get out of the yard.
• I wouldn't hurt a fly, but you're not a fly
• You can say the train isn't real but it's still going to sting like a son of a b
• I can cast Zulthon's Glowing Rings, but I cannot cast you from my heart
• I bind these books, but I can't write in them; I just can't
• You suckers still fucking node, but your noding wisdom. My bad.
• i call my phone and i check my messages, but i don't have any messages
• It wasn't so much a trip down memory lane as it was me carjacking someone's memorymobile and speeding off down the freeway, but I digress.
• Your radical ideas about many things have already occurred to others but have never been articulated in a fashion so accessible to current generations
• I can't get a girlfriend but my dog has a harem
• How to develop one side of your butt and still have the other one flabby
• The good guys and the bad guys were on the back of the boat and I swear I only turned my back for a MINUTE but when I came back, they'd killed Mozart.
• I feel like shit today, but I can always feel worse tomorrow
• Trust in Allah, but tie up your camel
• I learned never to empty the well of my writing, but always to stop when there was still something there in the deep part of the well, and let it refill at night from the springs that fed it.
• Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words can make me think I deserved it.
• What do girls think about guys when they catch guys staring at their breasts, but the guy is actually trying to read her shirt?
• If you can't help it, fuck it!
• It would have been an excellent story but I had to get off the train
• I didn't have the heart to tell him I was lying about taco night, but at least the hellhound made some friends

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