Here's the stuff we found when you searched for "I can barely function as a human being and you expect me to do calculus?"

• There's nothing you can do to me that Castro hasn't already done
• i am a human being. nothing human is alien to me.
• being mute can do a lot for an idiot
• Our obsessions almost killed me, but now here we are, talking like normal human beings
• Tell me a story about being really undead
• 50 Simple Things You Can Do to Save the Earth
• The things that get me (barely) through
• No matter what you think, you can NOT do homework in bed
• can you change the weather? show me how the raindrops turn to lies
• Nothing can stop me now
• I would have tried, but Charlotte kept Charlotte in the world of Charlotte and she barely heard me
• the summer can do little more than feed itself
• Can't speed up, can't slow down - all we can do is follow these damn dogs
• We hold the proud distinction of being among the very last humans who will ever die
• I like you; do you like me?
• You Do Something To Me
• a song you can barely hear
• you can give up, but there will always be those who do not
• My Heart is lost, What Can I Now Expect
• Why do today what you can postpone until tomorrow?
• Being Human
• I hope they kill me while I'm standing here, so I can die happy.
• I'm Harriet Harman, you know where you can get me
• What you can do to protect yourself against bioterrorism
• human being
• Anonymous Men Think They Can Talk To Me
• I can only pray that the same technology that created this crisis can help me put an end to it.
• How can I comfort you when it breaks me too?
• Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words can make me think I deserved it.
• Fuck you; I won't do what you tell me!
• How many genes do we (humans) have?
• Everything I do gives me cancer
• What do you think about Human Clothing?
• You can still be very hurtful when you do what's right.
• I remember books being like air and food and water to me
• Though you can tell me
• Can you hear me Maggie Thatcher? Your boys took one hell of a beating
• What can we expect from the aliens?
• Catch Me If You Can
• We hold the proud distinction of being among the very last humans who will ever live
• Can You Take Me Back
• You can get to my heart by making me cry
• I can do it myself
• can you get enough of me?
• But can you imagine what that would do to all those juggaloes?
• I don't believe in God or the soul but these machines can make me cry
• I can feel you forgetting me
• Martyrdom, or why mowing a Dandelion is the best thing you can do for him
• Tell me a story about a burro, standing atop a mesa, surrounded by a flock of geese, being fed by a weathered old man wearing nothing but a Jimmy hat
• can you show me where this came from?
• My finger can point to the moon, but my finger is not the moon. You don't have to become my finger, nor do you have to worship my finger. You have to forget my finger, and look at where it is pointing.
• Can You Hear Me?
• Snow Days vol. II: The Best That I Can Do
• When words fail me, music helps. I can at least sing along.
• all we can do is keep moving forward
• no power in the verse can stop me
• Dai-Un made me do it!
• Do my skinned knees prove something about me?
• Conventional views about human cloning
• Mama, Do You Love Me?
• What do you know of me, or I of you?
• Do you love me or are you in love?
• All I can do
• Human beings will believe anything
• Just because you should do something doesn't mean you can
• Creativity, the essence of being human
• It's the Internet, I can do what I want
• How to say "I can eat glass, it does not hurt me"
• Human being emulator
• I can do shit with my legs
• Admitted to God, to ourselves and to another human being the exact nature of our wrongs
• Can You Fill Me In?
• What can you do with 6.5 million SUV tires?
• What can I get for you? What do you need?
• You can do anything you want to, as long as it's not important
• How precious can human life be? There are six billion people on the planet!
• I was me before being me was cool.
• you can only make me dizzy if you're spinning me in leaves or snowflakes
• If you can say something nice, do
• Tell me a story about being really alive
• do you allow yourself to imagine being with someone?
• Can anyone bring me some Shazbot?!
• Know How, Can Do
• You don't really drink beer in cans, do you?
• On Being Human
• A simple experiment that you can do at home to prove the possibility of global warming
• I have to get up early and do laundry so I can wear something nice to the weirdo sex club
• I want you to hit me as hard as you can
• It's gone, aint nothing you can do about it now
• What the FBI Can Do With Their Little
• You can do anything
• Why do some people enjoy being in nature?
• only by consuming pieces of one another can beings such as we exist
• Do what you can, with what you've got, where you are
• Why I think I'm a disgusting human being
• What can a reed do but sway about and love?
• do you think i can get all my ideas out? so they aren't lost?
• And if terrorists wanted to communicate secretly, mightn't they just do so by collaborating on a 'draft' here at e2? Can the NSA check on our drafts? Who knows? Inquiring minds want to know, Jay!
• I can prove that Jesus was both human and divine
• When will you humans learn that your "feelings" (as you so call them) can stand in the way of big cash payoffs?
• it is a new dawn and I am a new me, this you can have if you want
• Loophole Abusing a Magic Cauldron, Chapter 10: Teach Me If You Can
• watch over me until i can find my way out of this labyrinth in my brain and regain my sanity
• We can do the sideways thinking that's needed to combat something which can literally eat your combat training.
• Do your wings make a sound? Sometimes I swear I can hear them
• Sometimes, all you can be is a friend
• Do you think you could love me now?
• Nodeshell, Nodeshell, give me your answer, do.
• Please don't tell me how to do my job
• How long do you think I'll let you keep me here?
• Why do all the pretty things always run away from me?
• Why some mammals have an aversion to water
• Please let me out, I won't do it again
• You are my electronic human being: my second chance, my way to mend the past.
• The Devil made me do it
• I do not think that they will sing to me.
• What Do I Do With Me
• Do not blame me, Miss Gorgeous, if I regard you with suspicion
• Movie trailers are not effective as advertising
• Do you like me?
• Do you know me?
• Promise me disappointment so I can stop holding out for glory.
• Never underestimate the impact you have on your fellow human beings.
• a failure as human beings
• You, a human being. I, a robot.
• Amazing what you can do with a paperclip and a snapped elastic band
• Just because you can do something doesn't mean you should
• I recall the last 20 years as succinctly as I can in one node: bear with me
• Why some people do not enjoy being in nature
• Why do we think we can give a score to our happiness?
• My God parted the sea; what can yours do?
• the only true religion is the one that lives in the heart of every human being
• Why are human beings so much more difficult to housetrain than dogs?
• What loneliness can do to you
• I sometimes feel like I need every human that I can form a healthy relationship with to survive
• Can my nodes be used against me in a court of law?
• Only Jesus can judge me
• Can you hear me flailing
• Can someone send me a photo of the server my nodes are on, please?
• What can you do this month that you couldn't do last month?
• Forgive me for being afraid of the world
• You Can Count on Me
• God, do you think I can have a nephew this time?
• The most perfect thing you can ever do
• If you can catch me, you can keep me
• You can now flame me, I am full of love
• NODE OR DIE! Can you do any less?
• I'm so sorry my brain works that way
• I can do much better than this
• There are more and better reasons to dislike a human being than race or religion
• I can't do one-quarter of the things my father can
• Any function can be represented as the sum of an even function and an odd one
• lots of small things can fill up a day without you even being aware of it
• Can you see the tension piling on me in waves? Look into my eyes.
• How being an irresponsible geek can kill!
• On the last day of 2004, we will do something in Portland. That thing is called a party. You can come.
• Can you hear me knocking?
• You can see right through me
• What Canada can do to improve U.N. peacekeeping capabilities
• can u c me i guess n (user)
• The monster stares back at me. I'm still young enough to believe that, with the right shoes, I can outrun it.
• Adapting literary works for film and television
• An Experiment you can do to see if your newspaper is indeed Liberally biased
• The Least We Can Do Is Wave To Each Other
• I can do stuff with my writeups (e2poll)
• I can feel the radiation... changing me...
• He makes me feel alone just by being there
• Do what you can as you do
• you tell me i live in a malady called imagination and i only can laugh
• It is something very shameful. Please contact me again if I can be of further service.
• Can you show me?
• There is nothing the dead can do
• I a man sad, with a linux box, a slow internet connection and friends who can not see the love in me bursting to get out.
• No Rack Can Torture Me
• There has to be a better way to make human beings
• Why respect knights, when my potions can do anything that you can?
• What would aliens think if they talked to an average western human being?
• I Hope You Can Help Me I've Called Everywhere
• There is something we can do
• Some days are magic, and I can do anything. The other days, I just have to wait, and hope it comes back.
• Dreams Can Be Cryptic, Dreams Can Obfuscate, But Dreams Do Not Lie
• The Most Good You Can Do

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