"I tell ya, Bob, a fishing rod is just a different kind of wand. It's a wand that summons fish."
"Yeah? And you even cast with it, har har har. Well i'd say it's a pretty crummy fish-summoning wand. Doesn't work half as well as you'd expect, does it? I wish my rod could land a fish every time, but no, the damn thing gets away."
"That's because you have to put some effort into it! It doesn't do all the work for you! Why, if every yahoo who had a fishing rod could fish all day long, there wouldn't be no fish no more."
"And that's the other thing, Jerry. Sometimes you don't even catch a fish. Sometimes you catch a turtle, or a tire or an old boot."
"Yeah well those last two are because the state government decided to relax all the dumping laws. You know what, sometimes I think I'd like to -- whoops hang on, I've got a bite."
"How did you get a bite when I'm standing right next to you and I haven't caught a thing for forty minutes?"
"Well I haven't caught a thing for forty minutes either. Don't sell yourself short, Bob. Might just be we picked a bad spot."
"Everywhere's a bad spot now that the governor de-funded the Fish And Game department."
"Yeah? Hm. Whoops, looks like it got away. Now as I was saying -- these are wands for summoning fish, but if you say they can also summon other things...maybe they can summon a certain paper off a certain desk?"
"Go on..."
"Not here. Sound carries over water. Come on, we're not going to catch anything else today anyway."