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3 p.m. Jeffrey Johnson. Bubbles. Unspayed, domestic shorthair. Black/white. 9 years old. Owner concerned about recent weight loss. Weight loss? How much weight loss? How recent? God, why can't the receptionist ever ask? Oh well. 2:45. Let's see if he turns up.

3:15. Mr. Johnson? If you're ready, you can come on back. This is Bubbles? All right, well, if you'll give me just a moment, I'm going to grab a thermometer and the scale and I'll be right back in. Let me just close this door behind me so Bubbles doesn't decide to make a run for it.

Scale? Check. Thermometer? Check. New vial of KY? God, it's got to be in there. I just filled it. Chart... chart. Here we go. Let's see, last check up... oh. Great. Just great.

Okay, here we go! Sorry about that, our equipment tends to wander around in here. Let me go ahead and ask you a few questions before we get started. Is Bubbles on any heartworm or flea medication?

Of course not. If you cared, you might have showed up on time.

What kind of food is she getting now? Um, maybe like Meow Mix? O.K., all right. And is Bubbles on any long term medication? All right... now... how is she doing at home? It says here we've been experiencing some weight loss. How long has that been going on?

About 2 weeks. Liar. Where were you a week ago?

All right, about how much do you think she's lost? She's... um... looks like about 6 pounds now.

God, Mr. Johnson, I almost cut myself on her hips.

Ok, well how about everything else... how's she been eating?

Too little.

How about drinking, is she drinking more than normal? And how long has that been going on?

Has that only been going on for 'two weeks' too?

And have you noticed that she's been using the bathroom any differently? Is she having normal bowel movements, normal urination?

Oh God, an outdoor cat. Of COURSE she's an outdoor cat.

And activity level? So you'd say that she's just not acting like herself? Would you say that's a fairly new occurrence or has that followed the problems with weight loss and all that?

A week. Sure, sure, Mr. Johnson.

All right, well, let me get this temp and we'll check to see if we've got a fever or anything like that.

How do you make polite conversation when you're putting a thermometer up a 9 year old cat's ass?

Well, looks pretty normal, just a little bit close to the high end of the spectrum. Actually, anywhere from around, about, 99 to 103 is pretty much normal. But let me go ahead and run this out to the doctor aand.. we'll be back in just a few moments.

No, of course she doesn't have a vaccine history. Not even rabies. She's an Outdoor Cat, why should he bring her in for vaccinations? Why should he bother making sure she's taken care of? Apparently she hasn't eaten in about a week. No diarrhea, but she's been pissing like a race horse and drinking a ton. She's lost about 6 pounds since the last time she was in. You know... 5 years ago. Yeah. Doesn't know if she's gotten in to anything. Doesn't know if she has contact with other cats. I mean, she's only 9... I don't know. Okay, I'll be in the room in just a minute.

All right, like the doctor said, I'm just going to go ahead and bring her to the back and draw a little blood to run some tests. It should take just a few minutes to set everything up and then about another 10 for the test to run. Feel free to just prop the door, and I'll be back in just a moment.

Come on kitty... bleed. Just hurry up and bleed. Poor girl. Your daddy sure doesn't love you, huh? No, he sure doesn't, or he would have brought you in when you first got sick. He would have gotten your vaccines for you, yes he would! He would have let you sleep in the house! God, not that I think he will, but if he decides to keep you, he's going to pitch a fit about the medical bills. He's the type. I hate this. What an idiot. Was it... 4 drops conjugate, 3 drop blood. All right, here we go.

Oh. Shit.

Why am I always the one that brings in the papers? What am I supposed to say to him? Doctors do all the talking, don't have to look the people in the eye when they sign their pets life away. I don't get paid enough for this.

Mr. Johnson? I know Dr. Yates just spoke with you. I need to get you to sign this. You want to be present, is that right? All right. Did you want to take the body with you? You know, they say you're not supposed to bury them, but you know what? Whatever you do in your own yard is your own business, you know? All right. Do you need another minute? ... We'll be right back.

Sorry kitty. God, if you weren't so sick, this wouldn't be so annoying. Stupid little veins. I guess that's what years of immunosuppresive viruses does to one's body. Good girl... good girl. This will all be over soon and you'll have someone to care about you. Here you go, doctor. I'll get the casket together.

Grey bag, double wrapped, in casket. Tape the sides up. Mr. Johnson is still in room 2. I can't believe he wanted to be with her. To say what? Sorry I fucked you over? Asshole.

Mr Johnson?

Cat killer.

I spoke with the doctor, you can just go ahead and go on home, we'll just send you the statement later.

What on earth is he teary-eyed for? He's the one that let the poor little thing waste away.

And sir? I'm sorry for your loss.

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