Here's the stuff we found when you searched for "I don't practice what I preach, because I'm not the sort of person I'm preaching to."

• Don't Sit Next to Me Just Because I'm Asian
• Don't assume that just because I'm gay, all I want is sex
• Don't assume that just because I'm promiscuous, all I want is sex
• Don't Sit Next to Me, Just Because I'm Gay
• I don't shiver because I'm cold. I shiver because you are.
• I'm sorry, I don't think we've been properly introduced
• Don't touch me when I'm screaming
• Someone has writer's block but I don't know if I'm him right now
• I'm going to do something stupid if I don't get laid
• If you don't know, I'm not going to tell you
• Don't get me wrong - I'm a feminist
• I'm not scared of dying, I just don't want to.
• The voting system doesn't work because I'm drunk and that fucks it up
• I'm sorry, I don't believe we've been properly estranged.
• Being a dickhead
• I'm a cynical bastard because I care so much, dammit
• No one asks me if I'm a Satanist or anything because I take the precaution of wearing a predominantly flannel and hawaiian shirt-oriented wardrobe
• Just because I like ballet it doesn't mean I'm a poof
• I'm related to people I don't relate to
• I'm a crack whore, and I don't care
• I don't Daylog but I'm Daylogging
• Because I want to. Because I'm good at it.
• Don't get me wrong; I'm not a feminist
• finding my way back to sanity again, though I don't really know what I'm going to do when I get there
• Where I'm Calling From, A Grand Don't Come For Free
• That man has writer's block but I don't know if I'm him right now
• You Think I'm Psycho Don't You Mama
• Just because I say Happy Hanukkah doesn't mean I'm Jewish
• You don't see the light at the end of the tunnel now, but it's there. I'm holding it for you.
• And if I don't die or worse I'm going to need a nap
• Don't rush me, I'm fragile
• I'm the only person who'd ever told him to his face he was beautiful.
• Just because I'm black doesn't mean I can rap
• I'm trying to see little old ladies as versions of my mom; it helps me be a better person
• Just because I'm nice to her doesn't mean I want to fuck her
• I just don't need help losing things; I'm good enough at that on my own
• I'm insensitive, and I don't know anything
• Don't miss me until I'm dead
• The sheer fact that I'm in a developing country should make me a better person, yes?
• I'm angry, and tired, and sad, and I just don't want to deal with it right now, so fuck off
• Because I'm an adult
• Don't blame me, I'm from Massachusetts
• Don't make me angry, you wouldn't like me when I'm angry
• Don't touch me when I'm on a boat
• Things that no one told you...until now, because I'm telling you. Consider yourself fortunate
• I don't like your reality, I'm going to make my own
• Don't hate me because I'm evil
• i might look like a grown person, but i'm just a tiny confused scientist
• Don't be an IM phantom
• I don't need to read, I'm a writer
• if you don't stop laughing I'm going to pour Mountain Dew on your bed
• I know I'm not very good at this. I don't want to be better.
• I'm happy but you don't like me
• Don't Hug Me I'm Scared
• In this moment I'm focused on my own emotions. I don't care about how you feel. I can't.
• I'm scared. I don't have a name.
• some sort of electric light, i'm not really sure
• They hate me because I'm beautiful
• You don't even know the meaning of the word committed. I'm Andy Kaufman, motherfucker. I will die on this hill I made, in this battle I started, for this prize I already own.
• I'm not going to simplify things just so they can fit inside your mind. You don't deserve that.
• just because i'm out on the balcony doesn't mean i'm about to jump
• I Can't Speak Because I'm Drowning In My Thoughts.
• But I'm a good person! Yeah great you wanna help me with this or what?
• I'm not really a secretary; I just play one at work.
• Oh, look at me, I'm so drunk
• I'm scared to run the program I wrote
• I'm embarrassed that I know this
• Good? Bad? I'm the guy with the gun.
• I'm a bloke. Shoot me.
• I'm not this cool in real life
• I may not know anything but I know I'm not American
• I'm afraid, sometimes, at night
• IM
• Don't kill your invisible husband to see what he looks like or you'll sob your heart out. But don't worry about the millions of invisible men coming to attack your village because they won't kill you if you don't know how to fight them.
• I'm so toasty, you could spread jam on me
• If my roommate doesn't keep his hands off my shit, I'm gonna fuck him up
• I'm fucking addicted, OK?
• I'm going to be a Dad
• We don't write poetry because it's cute
• I can't be a scientist because I don't believe in God.
• I don't like her because she won't like me
• I walk around when I'm high
• I'm Losing You
• I'm Sorry I Haven't a Clue
• I'm sorry
• I'm Gonna Git You Sucka
• 418 I'm a teapot
• I'm bored
• I'm Going Slightly Mad
• I'm scared to death of what havoc he could wreak in my life
• Damn it, I'm a Satan Worshipper
• I'm my own Grandpaw
• I'm passionate about my plant life
• I feel like I'm missing pieces of sleep
• I'm Proud of You
• I'm with stupid
• You're laughing now, but I'm voting this sucka down
• I'm not anorexic, but I'm working on it
• imm
• I'm
• I'm with the band
• Hands off, I'm special
• I don't care. I like who I am because of it.
• Damn, I'm good.
• Da Ya Think I'm Sexy?
• People are impossible. I should know; I'm one of them.
• I'm pinching your face!
• Dammit Jim, I'm a doctor not a bricklayer!
• Are you pondering what I'm pondering?
• I'm Your Fan
• Well if it's gonna be THAT kinda party, then I'm gonna stick my dick in the mashed potatoes!
• How to say "I'm crazy"
• I'm in this for the long haul
• I'm a little ICBM
• I'm a liberal and I'm evil!
• I'm with you, Peter Pan
• Let's hear that string part again, because I don't think they heard it
• Wouldn't you think I'm the girl, the girl who has everything?
• I'm not very cool
• When I'm Sixty-Four
• I'm acquiring more bottles, tubes, and jars as time goes on
• I'm just a bill
• I'm seeing more rear end car wrecks in the year 2000
• My cats think I'm a God
• No, I'm not a Liberal
• I'm rubber, you're glue
• I'm not that kinda girl
• I'm just so tired of waking up all alone
• I'm gay
• I'm creating a religion... you'll like it!
• I'm Going Home
• I'm not a part of this world
• Fuck me if I'm wrong
• Is this the blues I'm singing?
• Note to Standards and Practices: Don't forget to censor the closed captions
• Preaching Christianity to hitch hikers when you don't believe in God on the day of the Devil
• You're not a good person. You know that, right? Good people don't end up here.
• Why don't you just find a nice person and settle down?
• We don't talk about those sorts of things
• I'm trippin' my nut sack into a frenzy of dik play
• Correct me if I'm wrong, and if I am, I'll eat a bug
• I'm just reading it for the articles
• Im Elvis (user)
• I'm Sorry I'll Read That Again
• I'm picking out a Thermos for you
• So. Central Rain
• I'm not sure
• But I'm a Cheerleader
• I'm a Dutchman's uncle
• Im-
• I'm tired
• I'm a Chicken-Hawk, and I'm gonna eat me some chickens
• I'm Glad
• I'm no fucking Buddhist, but this is Enlightenment.
• I think I'm in Love with Everything
• (I'm Your) Hoochie Coochie Man
• I'm not drinking any more

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