Findings:

• If I could be anything I'd be water and I'd be wild about it.
• Would I have hid myself away if I had known I'd never be found?
• The only thing to be truthfully said about tomorrow is that it changes everything
• "The Americans in their wisdom have taken the heads off the pictures, enlarged them and superimposed them with the heads of animals and then strung them up all over the walls of the interrogation room," he said
• Someday my life will be interesting, and I will come back and tell you about it then
• if I can't be with you, then I'll write about you, or I'll write about something else
• Then the walls started to bleed again and I just KNEW I'd be the one cleaning it up.
• And then Satan said, Let there be cricket ball.
• Unborn to-morrow and dead yesterday, why fret about them if today be sweet!
• Hey, Mr. DJ, I Thought You Said We Had a Deal
• If the field of AI had tried building footballers rather than chess players, how might it be different today?
• Jesus said, "I love him, for he is my brother." He was talking about everyone.
• It was all awesome. Then the robots took over.
• Unloved, yeah. But I'd rather be cursed than poisoned.
• I thought that I wanted this. I didn't realize it would be so hollow
• When I look into her eyes, I no longer care about what the world thinks. This is what it feels like to be alive.
• I'd tell you but then I'd have to kill you
• He had something to say. He said it.
• Well if it's gonna be THAT kinda party, then I'm gonna stick my dick in the mashed potatoes!
• They need food AND water? You didn't tell me about the water part.
• I'm not one to be had for the wanting, Sir
• She Had to Be Sure
• I will be the first thing you will be thinking about after you wake
• What tasty food would be distusting if eaten over rice?
• If you weren't gay, I think I'd be in love with you
• This is how it appears on Wikipedia and they tend to be somewhat anal about grammar, so I'm trusting this is correct
• This is me, I said, and then I talked for hours
• If I had a monkey, I'd give it a gun
• There was just the magic I'd brought and laid there over the years, piled up in the corners like twinkling dust bunnies
• How to speak about women and be politically incorrect
• What's it going to be then, eh?
• I'm gonna be sad and then I want you to make me laugh
• If this was an Olympic Sport, I'd be world champion
• I knew about the kissing problem before I said Yes.
• If God had a cunt you'd be God
• Be Yourself, said the buxom blonde. Just Like Everyone Else
• Waiting for the show to be over. In oh-so-many ways.
• But I've said it before and I'll say it again: kneecaps only exist to get hit with claw-hammers; grace only exists to be fallen from.
• What I Didn't Learn in Church Last Sunday (and wish I had)
• I'll be happier when the rain stops. But I know I'd be miserable if it never rained again.
• All the things she had at one point wanted to be
• this was supposed to be a parable about the power of the imagination
• The only reason I'd forget my apartment is if I wanted to invite people over
• If I Had My Life To Live Over
• So then she said
• His collection of substances that should not exist was stolen. The thieves then killed themselves 1000 times over.
• How many lives could have been saved had we just said "Please" more often?
• And then wings sprouted from the space between my shoulders where my wings had once been
• Forget what you think you know about the opposite sex
• "What *should* we be worried about?"; or how too many cooks make a statistically average soup
• i don't spend a lot of time thinking about what it feels like to be gored by a chainsaw
• I didn't have the heart to tell him I was lying about taco night, but at least the hellhound made some friends
• When the log rolls over we will all be dead
• Don't be sexy. I said stop that.
• Until I die there will be sounds. And they will continue following my death. One need not fear about the future of music.
• Why I'd like to be a free-range hen
• The Scots Confession: Chapter 7
• If I was a woman I'd be a feminist too
• If I were watched alone, I'd be considered insane
• you had to be there
• What some stuffy Victorians had to say about poetry
• The woman had a carnivorous frenzy which could only be soothed by the succulent sirloin
• If you tolerate this piss then your bitter will be next
• my promise is broken—words will never be over
• The cat that didn't want to be rescued
• Let it never be said I slept through it. I never sleep
• If I had called you, would you still be dead?
• nor was there anything to be attained that you didn't already have
• "This sandwich is great, but it could be better if it had tomatoes and also gave me super powers."
• if a cycle can be broken, then it will have been worth it
• I thought I had some great insight into human nature, but I didn't
• If I didn't ask, I'd never know (how much you hate me)
• I'd Love to be a Fairy's Bride
• I used to be an adventurer like you, but then I took an arrow to the knee
• there are some things that can only be said at the top of a ferris wheel
• we didn't know then that we were making memories
• I'd ask, sure, I'd ask. But then, then you could say no.
• I do it because it hurts, and then even that is over
• i kept dreaming of a world i thought i'd never see, and then one day i got in
• If you're not sure whether or not you've been had, then you've already been had.
• She bought a new smile every week when we first started seeing each other. Then I had to buy them.
• I said I was sorry. Then she looked at me.
• And Then I Said "Touche"
• Drunken Riemann shoved Gauss over fish and chips and said, Motherfucker, you solve that theorem, and I'll cut you with this blade!
• Everything you wanted to know about hamsters, and then some!
• Until today, it really pissed me off that I'd become this totally centered Zen Master and nobody had noticed
• What was I thinking when I said it didn't hurt?
• I Had Already Quit That Job About 20 Days Ago...in my mind, anyway
• Notes on What's What and on What it Might be Reasonable to do about Whats What
• She may be pretty and have more money than me but she doesn't write songs about you.
• And then night was here, after a day of measured breathing, and I could forget about breathing because the waiting was done
• When I heard about the funeral I said "Why?"
• there must be something positive about this; I just can't think of it at the moment
• if dreams are like movies then memories are films about ghosts
• Bragging about a high IQ is way worse than bragging about having a large dick. The latter can at least be demonstrably used for something and be put to good use.
• I don't know about that fellow Rand, but I'd never trust a McNally.
• I had no idea what he thought about me.
• I'd love to go back to the late 80's and tell them about our time
• It's hard to be enthusiastic about reading and books with someone that openly admits to being a bad reader
• If everyone had a flower instead of a gun, there would be no more war
• Whoever said lectures should be interesting?
• It's hard to be enthusiastic about music with someone who physically sneered at Hamilton
• Each thing she learned became part of herself, to be used over and over in new adventures
• And Man Said, "Let There Be God."
• Submissions for the "I'd Rather Be Noding" Bumper Sticker
• I always knew I would have a 21st birthday but I never thought I'd be 21
• I'd already be a Buddhist if it weren't for all these damn spiders
• Wouldn't it be wonderful if everyone renounced violence forever?
• Be a problematic duck over there
• life is about falling into a hole, and then climbing out of the hole
• He didn't want to be Gary anymore
• If I'd have shot her when I met her, I'd be out of jail by now.
• Thinking you know more about computers than the tech you just called
• They be killin' some hog over thar'.....
• people who were not to be trifled with; people who would dance, and had no notion of walking
• On second thought, maybe I'd rather be dangerous
• Why Descartes should be Resurrected and then Shot
• The votes can be divided into roughly two categories. Those that got it, and those that didn't.
• life is short, life is shit, and soon it will all be over
• I said to my soul, be cool.
• the nodeshell that didn't want to be rescued
• nothing true can be said in a single sentence, and anything said in three is a lie
• No place I'd rather be
• I'd Love to be a Fairy's Child
• can it be that it was all so simple then
• If you're not able to accept peace, then you must be willing to accept conflict.
• I'd just as soon be a ghost
• The guy who may as well already be dead and therefore doesn't care about the consequences of his actions and is able to move with perfect freedom for the remainder of what will likely be a tragically short life
• Spared the sight of what you wouldn't be the same if you had seen.
• Professor Evil, prepare to be struck down by this shovel I found over in the corner! For JUSTICE!
• i had a dream about the future
• only then will we be safe from each other
• I'd rather be lost than be where you call home
• if you think you are the strongest you can be, then you are
• It wasn't so much what you said, or what I did, but more what you said I did, and what I didn't say at all.
• If we and our lives are worse for having spoken the truth, then we and our lives deserve to be worse.
• What I used to be/Will pass away, and then you'll see/That all I want now/Is happiness for you and me
• If you are the beautiful, then I must be the damned.
• What the Institute for Motivational Development had to say about me
• Ah, if you should turn out to be a fairy I don't think I'd put you in a jar
• Nothing new about Ancient Greece will be learned until the Vatican is plundered
• He had a prison of brass built in the hole, and then, when it was finished, he locked up his daughter
• If you had any balls, you'd say 'Oh, my God, what is that thing?' then scream and cut your mic.
• But if life were only moments, then you'd never know you had one
• Had I a man's fair form, then might my sighs
• and then, one morning, I realised I had been an adult for a while
• if I had known then what I know now
• The girl didn't know if she was loved until he said yes.
• i didn't write this, but i wish i had
• I didn't ask if the glass was half full or half empty. I've always had enough to drink.
• Why noding about your personal life can be a bad idea
• Let's Talk About Feelings
• We only care about the cute animals, everything else is food
• What is this crap about trick-or-treating on Saturday?
• Feeling bad about a good deed
• The good thing about using a horribly outdated file system
• about nobody (superdoc)
• about an Alice
• about box
• Things my mom doesn't argue with me about anymore
• The Trick About Thawing Grapes
• The secret truth about the PalmPilot
• One good thing about gangs
• Think About Mutation
• What do you think about Human Clothing?
• since then it's been a book you read in reverse
• What We Talk about When We Talk About Love
• The Girl from Ipanema
• Help me tell you a story about things and yourself, without pants
• A joke about tax collectors
• Quotes about robotic dinosaurs
• Your radical ideas about society, individualism, and religion have already occurred to others
• I don't acknowledge your existence either. Don't worry about it.
• Your radical ideas about religion as a mechanism of social control have already occurred to others
• I don't give a DAMN about your character
• More Songs About Buildings and Food
• LPPR: Illegal Speech About Drugs
• You are the kind of girl my mother warned me about
• Doctors know nothing about drugs
• What Little I Know About Ingredients For Thai Cuisine
• Stories about the injury of male genitalia

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