God, its been cold the last few nights.

The sidewalk has been frozen for weeks. The wind has been worse than ever. I found a new refrigerator box, but the snow has soaked through it and has started to leak in.

Thank the lord for all these clothes:

  • I have a sweater I picked up off the ground when an NYU student was running and dropped it.
  • These pants I found in dumpster.
  • After rooting through the dumpster behind the Javits Center, I found a bunch of the t-shirts from the Internet convention I have on.
  • I got some good plastic bags for my head and feet there, too.
  • I went by the shelter and snagged a jacket. It's got a couple holes but that's ok.
  • I got this skirt (way too small but its an extra layer) I found on the street. It's an ugly lime green, but at least its more warmth.

I heard some guy in a suit say that this has been the worst winter in decades while he dropped a quarter in my cup. He said it with a look of pity in his eyes. But behind that, there seemed to be a glow of pride, seemingly because he felt he was doing a great deed.

I guess something is better than nothing, but if you are proud of yourself for giving me pocket change or clothes you would otherwise throw out, you need a wake up call. You wanna be proud of your self, feel like you've been charitable, give me a job and a house. Put YOURSELF out a little and then you can pat yourself on the back.

I don't need your self-aggrandizing pity. All your clothes and money do for me is keep me alive for another day of pain.


... and you,
standing there in the doorway to the bathroom
brushing your teeth in my oxford shirt,
are wearing one too many.

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