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I like my cat. It is a good cat. It eats cat food. It does not eat dog food. It does not do drugs. My cat likes to meow. My cat likes to scratch things. Some of these things include furniture, scratching post, children. One time I gave my cat a little piece of carrot and he ate it. My cat does not eat mice. My cat does not smell funny.

I also like my cat because my cat is smart. It is not stupid like many of the dogs you may have encountered. My cat reads my mood and stays away when I am angry. My cat does not eat his cat food when there is poison in it. My cat can count up to 300. My cat knows calculus like the back of his damn hand. My cat also has a slightly deformed head.

I like my cat because it is cute. It has eyes and ears and a mouth. All of those are smaller than my eyes and my ears and my mouth. It has little paws. It makes paw-prints when it walks through paint or tar or blood and then walks on the clean floor. It has little whiskers. It is a young cat. It also goes to the bathroom in the litter box.

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