Your friend Behr, to whom you have sworn an oath of fealty, is no stranger to protest. Usually, I am, but when the cops burst in on me while I was shoving kitchen knives into a family I had tied up in their basement, I knew it was time to start protesting unfair treatment of people like me in America.

Now, in 1972, during my first year in America after being granted asylum here to escape prosecution for war crimes in Germany in the early 1940s, I took to the streets to protest something I could not believe existed. Because the First Amendment grants me the right to seize property I like, torture and murder the family living there, and begin building theme parks, I see an issue with the Geneva Convention. Everything about it is straight up DEAD WRONG about every damned thing it prattles on about. It needs to go in the sewer with the rest of the shit mankind has produced that have kept people from forcibly taking over the property of others in order to profit and increase GNP in America. Absolutely sickening that this is allowed to persist. Tear it up. Tear it up. Tear it up. This is what I chanted in front of the White House in 1972 while holding up a burning replica of the city of Geneva. Burn it down. Kill the Swiss. I don't like them. These were other things I shouted out in my nudeness in front of that building.

A film was made about my brave protest, shown on the syndicated television show That's Incredible in the mid-1980s. I was hard as a rock watching myself on television. You would be too.

I paraded my then svelt 254 lb naked manbody up and down in front of The White House for six weeks, being consistently naked the entire time, continuing to burn models of Swiss cities with model people made out of actual human flesh in the model cities. I howled. I called for the renunciation of the Geneva Convention while showing my engorged genitals to every woman and child who came to Washington to see the sights. I made a positive impression on so many with my well planned protest. And so, I can offer my assistance to you in protesting on your own.

This was not my only experience in protest movements. Straight white men have been getting the shaft from the rest of civilization for thousands of years. We need to fight back somehow. A few years my buddy Gerald from the lending library at the Straight White Men's Cultural Center of East Baltimore (where he ran the film strip projector for 34 years) was rebuffed recently when he tried to rent his apartments in six buildings he owned exclusively to straight white men who were down on their luck. People attacked him for it, and for the fact that he had executed 34 people to acquire those buildings and that Obama-era FBI had filmed the whole thing. What an invasion of privacy! Don't straight white men get to engage in business in this country any longer? Or is that all the purview of the exclusivist types? I have had it with these ancestry mail-in tests. They are ruining everything!

We need to take back this country from people who are not straight white men. This is the only way we can put our thumb down and stomp out the things that cut into the profit margin. I am losing sixteen billion dollars a day in revenue from various business ventures and book publishing deals because of virus issues. I have had it. I am ready to get naked, grease up, and light models of Swiss cities on fire in front of The White House ONCE AGAIN.

Thanks for being my friend and giving full-throated support to all my ideas when out in public talking to other people. I appreciate it very much. Tell your friends about me. Invite them to come with you to my island when all this is over. God bless.

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