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Both were short term jobs, but once I had reported my meager income on my tax returns, for years I was listed as a dishwasher long after I'd quit. The way I got the job was circuitous and not my first assignment at this particular location, although in the distant past I'd worked only with German Lutheran Sisters who had narrowly escaped Hitler's Youth Health Programs, coming to the United States mostly by way of Canada with their memories in steamer trunks. Land was purchased adjacent to a Sugar Maple tree farm owned by Irwin Richardt who had a small cult of his own called Sons of Liberty. He sold unadulterated maple syrup.

The good Sisters built their church and their underground bunkers, barns and gardens, fields of corn, not knowing there was also a nudist colony right behind them, off to the east.

The FBI had started in Philadelphia, I believe, but as the world changed and more Chinese became members of the FBI, they relocated to bucolic New Jersey where the supposedly non-denominational German Lutherans firmly believed in working from dawn to dusk, huge percolator pots of coffee, real butter, fresh eggs and vegetables, wild honey, homemade bread and thanksgiving gravy with every meal.

As for the job as an extra, I was lured under false pretenses by a well-intentioned mother of triplets who sold artificial silk trees and plants from her kitchen and garage, and told about about the opportunity from her children's talent agent. I was instructed to dress as if attending the opera. We drove into Manhattan along with a deaf male friend of her husband's who wanted the easy money promised of $200 for two to three hours of sitting, in the Metropolitan Opera House.

What actually transpired is another story for another time; suffice it to say we were there for 14 hours as a young Anna Paquin did take after take for the perfectionist director Kenneth Lonergan. You can read the convoluted story about the film Margaret on several websites, not Wikipedia and IMDb. After New York taxes and a hefty percentage to the agent, I probably made less than $80, until three years later when I received one check for $13 and one for $1.89. Both, just odd jobs and only one was cursed.

(There is only one real lie in this story, however I'm entering this into LieQuest 2013, if they will have me. I promise to C! your next 3 write-ups or give you The Gift of 5 Gold Stars from the E2 Gift Shop if you correctly guess the lie before midnight tonight EST. Downvoters are welcome to guess, as well as those who abstain from voting.)

Responses are posted at May 11, 2012.

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