Here's the stuff we found when you searched for "If I could be a fisherman, I would, But I CAN'T because I’m a FUCKING GENIUS"

• I'm straight, but you might be the one
• If poetry could describe the way you make me feel, poetry would be illegal. Or anyway I might get arrested.
• I always knew I would have a 21st birthday but I never thought I'd be 21
• I can't be a scientist because I don't believe in God.
• We do what we do because of who we are. If we did otherwise, we would not be ourselves.
• "This sandwich is great, but it could be better if it had tomatoes and also gave me super powers."
• People tell us who they are, but we ignore it, because we want them to be who we want them to be.
• I'm no fucking Buddhist, but this is Enlightenment.
• I ought to be grateful, but instead I'm angry
• I Can't Speak Because I'm Drowning In My Thoughts.
• If I were Twenty-One I would determine, even if I could never be anything else in the world, that I would be a thoroughbred
• Pirates and ninjas: why they should be friends but can't be
• The Ten Commandments revised
• when I am King, we will have no such things, but, my lads, if the old king my father were dead, we would be all kings.
• If voting changed anything, they would make it illegal
• If not voting could change the system it would be illegal
• The best kind of bartender
• I Would Be Content To Live For But A Day
• Imagine how the world would be if only wrecking balls could destroy flowers
• I'm at the station, but I can't get on the train
• Reality can't be whatever I want it to be, but maybe it's not so clear-cut, you know?
• Laugh now, because tomorrow I will be ten stories tall and I could just step on you if I want
• I'm sorry, but we can't watch the rest of MacBeth until it is censored
• I would've taken an axe to it, but I'm pretty sure the dryad would have pulverized me
• But what kind of violence would not be natural? Is not cruelty natural?
• I may be young, but I'm not naive
• Ain't what I'm gonna be, ain't what I wanna be, but lord thank you I ain't what I used to be.
• On two concert, I'm shootive collective photo but small, fat, bald headed technologist be insane
• If I could be anything I'd be water and I'd be wild about it.
• Without chemicals, life itself would be impossible
• The Filesystem That Would Be King
• If I was the ocean, what would you be to me?
• I'm Rudy Giuliani! I was mayor of New York on 9/11! I Should Be The President!
• Linux would be dead without Windows
• a horse that's lost could be dreaming of the girl that's going to find him
• This would be so dirty if we weren't all professionals
• Hot pursuit
• Wouldn't it be nice if I could remember her
• Whoso would be a man must be a nonconformist
• When the aliens attack my workplace, I'm going to be so damn READY
• It could be the last time you see me alive
• eternity would be boring
• Open source cars would be doing 200 mpg by now
• When the seagulls follow the trawler, it is because they think sardines will be thrown into the sea.
• He made me promise I would do this when I was next sad. So I promised myself I would not be sad again.
• The second chance you give could be your last
• My Love Is Higher Than Your Assessment of What My Love Could Be
• The next time they would come, I would not be here.
• I never thought it would be like this
• Could man be drunk for ever
• Things that could be
• We knew there would be kissing, and breasts
• If language were liquid, it would be rushing in
• I'm claiming the right to be unhappy
• If I could be someone
• They try to be quiet but you know they are there with their weird coppery breath.
• A whimper would be fine
• Why would a lapsed Catholic want to be married in the church?
• I'm dreaming it so it must be true
• If there were more people like you, there would be less people
• If anything were different, everything would be different
• an invitation to be everything you never thought you could be
• Sorrier than I ever thought I would be
• it would be hilarious if only
• She may be pretty and have more money than me but she doesn't write songs about you.
• she can't remember what it's like to be found
• On what it is like to be so crazy you can't sleep
• "Hey wouldn't it be cool if we could do this" rule
• I like to be reminded this city survives because of these machines.
• he thought it would be great fun to conquer the world
• Human Consciousness could be Immortal
• Your noise would not be missed here.
• Not to die but to be reborn...
• I'm trying to see little old ladies as versions of my mom; it helps me be a better person
• This Star Wars sheet may be worth something, but I just need a tablecloth
• We could all be blind
• Mind without body
• Nothing could be close to quite like this
• The moment you realize you can't be good at everything
• I'm gonna be sad and then I want you to make me laugh
• Any fool with a dick can make a baby but it takes a real man to be a father
• You meant for this node to be read by me, and I would like to respond
• You may be a noder, but you ain't no dancer
• It is not our noise at all, but we are lucky to be listening
• Whatever you do will be insignificant, but it is very important that you do it
• You could be so delicious
• Really quick (I really can't be bothered to cook now) dinners
• He may be a son-of-a-bitch, but he is our son-of-a-bitch
• Might be like leftovers. Would not taste the same, however sweet.
• If a given feature can't be found in a Freeware application, you don't need it
• I'M GUNNA BE WICKED RETAHDED: Come for the scenery, stay for the BAP (another E2 nodah pahty) - II
• OMG!!1 I'M GUNNA BE WICKED RETAHDED AGAIN
• How to be a moron in any city but Baltimore
• The woman had a carnivorous frenzy which could only be soothed by the succulent sirloin
• people who were not to be trifled with; people who would dance, and had no notion of walking
• I'm not one to be had for the wanting, Sir
• Life without music would be a mistake
• If all you did was node, your writeups wouldn't be very interesting, would they?
• People of Earth: we could be heroes.
• Marvellous, I'm probably going to be eaten by a wild boar
• If I was any good at this, I would be getting paid
• The life you're fucking with may not be your own
• I wish I knew how it would feel to be free
• I've read books so I know things that sound like they could be true
• Statements that would be shocking to people living in 1985
• Well if it's gonna be THAT kinda party, then I'm gonna stick my dick in the mashed potatoes!
• Nothing could possibly be more satisfactory!
• Wouldn't it be nice if I could forget her
• Could you be any more of a poseur? 'Changes' was a best-of!
• It is not known why a goose would be used in this manner
• nodeshells that could never be satisfactorily filled
• Not flushing public toilets can't be always construed as an act of laziness
• "Life" appears to be a zero-sum structure, but we're running the numbers again
• Life must be lived forward, but it can only be appreciated sideways
• I thought that I wanted this. I didn't realize it would be so hollow
• I may be cold and calculating, but that doesn't make me a computer
• Look, I don't mean to be an asshole or anything, but...
• Just because Linux is Free doesn't mean Linux Software has to be Free
• I'm not even supposed to BE here today!
• if I can't be with you, then I'll write about you, or I'll write about something else
• If God did not exist, it would be necessary to invent him
• God can't be all good and all powerful at the same time
• But, my dear sir, if you educate them, they will no longer be Baptists
• Wouldn't it be nice if I could remember her as a firework
• I'm going to be a programmer!
• I think people would rather be happy than virtuous
• If someone wants to do something and it isn't hurting you... DON'T BE A FUCKING DICK
• I may be a trenchie bitch, but you forget we wear combat boots!
• 'C' may be for cookie, but that's not good enough for me, dammit!
• You find yourself being chased not only by the bad guys, but also by what should be the good guys
• In a world of blind people, c would be the speed of sound
• Wouldn't it be wonderful if everyone renounced violence forever?
• That I Would Be Good
• Why Star Trek: Series V would be a bad thing
• A kiss may not be the truth, but it is what we wish were true
• Never Again Would Birds' Song Be the Same
• It is never too late to be what you would have been
• Just to see what it would be like
• It ought to be broad daylight, but the shadow that envelops the story shows no signs of brightening
• The mountain could be home
• complex numbers can't be ordered
• That's just my opinion, I could be wrong
• It Could Always Be Worse
• After this, everything got louder and no one could be heard
• I'm going to be a Dad
• The kinds of friends that books could never be
• I may be lying in the gutter, but I am looking up at the stars
• Why Can't We Be Friends?
• I assumed we would not even be friends
• I don't want to be a weeping mass of emotion, but I am
• Our Band Could Be Your Life
• What would existence be like for a child born with no senses?
• Starving in the greenhouse
• I'M GUNNA BE WICKED RETAHDED: Come for the scenery, stay for the BAP (another E2 nodah pahty)
• We couldn't be anywhere else but here
• We Could Be Heroes: tes's Everything2 Heroes Quest
• Spikey the Werm may be a Werm, but he's got quite an imagination nonetheless!
• I'm not doing it just to be weird
• If not for bras there would be far too little between men and breasts.
• Why airplane doors can't be opened mid-flight
• English may be a "living language," but Latin is not -- so get it right.
• If you were a perfume, your name would be "Butterflies"
• Unraveling things you would never be able to say with words.
• You could be the Willow, I could be the Wind.
• If I had called you, would you still be dead?
• Don't be an IM phantom
• Why Can't This Be Love

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