Lawyer speak that reaches out into the most delicate regions of our emotions with the coldest of fingers. I don't know you, but I wear a very nice suit. I care. Let me help you reap a financial windfall as compensation for your pain.

"Nothing can ever make up for the loss of a loved one, but you deserve something for your pain."

Passing over to the other side after our own demise, perhaps we will be greeted with a similar presentation. The video screens may be more artistic than your average 17" television. The colors could very well be more vibrant. The weather in the room might be unpredictably predictable. Does that mean everything will be different?

Maybe you will pass on after a fatal car accident, sudden illness, or after being suffocated in your sleep by the creepy woman in the brushed suede jacket you picked up in the line at Wendy's. You may not have had the time to prepare your will, make up with grandma after arguing over the missing birthday present, or meet your biological parents. You might be a Catholic who was hit by a runaway taxi on your way to the confessional after doing some naughty things you now regret. Wouldn't this be the time for an afterlife agency to come to your aid?

"Have you reason to believe that your death was unjustified? Shulmanackoff and Biedeviedes is here for you. We care. We specialize in unjust death, especially in cases where you were not given time to make peace with your God and your loved ones. Talk to us. We'll get you the compensation you deserve. The first consultation is free. Don't spend another night worrying about what might have been. Call us."

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